Judge — August 24, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CHEERFUL WORD. [T HAS grown to be the fashion— And the fact I much deplore— Men who have sufficient money Tell the rest to want no more. With the modest fifty thousand Of a Presidential dole, We are told that golden yearnings Are unworthy of the soul With a comfortable joblet That is pretty near the top. ys our genial secretary, Other fellows ought to stop.” Few the shekels that I number, So T thus may say with charm: Hustle for the honest dollar And it will not de MIGHT GET DISCOURAGED. 46] SEE that a blind man has been nomi- nated for chaplain of a senate out west.” + Well, it’s probably best that a man who has to pray for politicians can't see what hopeless cases he is praying for.” *. MORAL EFFECT OF A GILLETTE. - “You are charged with carrying a razor. What have you to say?” de gcineto reiki i “Yo! honah, hit war a Gillette safety razzer.”” NOore is going to get into heaven oh his “Why would you carry a Gillette safety razor?” pastor's recommendation. * Fo" mo‘al effect, yo" honah.”* A BRIGHT SUGGESTION. HE lamentable lack of uniformity in the use of words descriptive of num- bers, in the yellow press, justifies a little attention, perhaps. At a street- fight, a hotel fire, or a political meeting, there is seldom time to ascertain the exact number ot persons present, to be sure, but the following scale might be used in approximation : Over 3, but less than 10. , Over 10, but less than 20 Over 20, but less than 50. Over 50, but less than 100. Over 100. vast concourse. This list would undergo a radical change, however, in case the news- paper was reporting a political meeting of its opponents, It might then be abridged : 100 of more... ee... emp 300 or more «+a few stragglers JUST AN AID TO MEMORY. Sarcastic Carto—"* Ha! | see you have been to town?” Cur—“* Oh, that's something my wife tied on so | would re- 500 or more 1000 or more 3000 or more lonely gathering a small audience ..conly the front seats filled. member to bring back a knuckle-bone."* ON THE TURF. OME friends of mine went to the track— And so did 1. They said they'd hit the books a whack— ‘And so did They talked of + ponies" and the dope "— And so did I. They had their bosoms full of hope— And so did I. ‘They had the tips on how to bet— And so did ‘They knew just where to spread their net— ‘And so did I. They said they'd show the bookies what— And so did I. They fired their cash in fast and hot— And so did I ‘They said they'd make a killing hit— And so did I. They piled it on’ the favorite— And so did I. They smiled to hear the talent talk— And so did 1. The fav’rite came home in a walk— And so did L At least, he must have walked, because ev thing that ran in the race got to the wire before he did. WILLIAM J. LAMFTON. THE LOGIC OF DELAY. “Ethelbert Murphy, do you think it's quite right for your little brother to go in bathing on Sunday ? Don't you think he might have waited till to-morrow ?”* “What'd ‘a’ bin de use? He'd ‘a’ needed it woise,"” WELL anyway, there is always room at the bottom, comicbooks.com