Judge — August 3, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FLOATER. “Hey, there! THE WORLD DISSATISFIED. O MATTER how we strive or how we study To make the world a place devoid of woes, There's no such thing as pleasing everybody, Or giving to the fretful sweet repose. If war could be abolished, and if labor Might cease to be imposed upon the race, You might at once expect to hear your neighbor Complain that earth was “such a dull old place." If some great wizafd, filled with kind emotions, And seeking to make life a long, sweet dream, = Produced a wand and waved it o'er the oceans, ‘Thus turning the salt water into cream, The dairymen would rise in consternation And ask that walls along the shores be made, And on the wizard heap loud condemnation For basely secking to destroy their trade. If some wise person with the best intention Could, after he had studied well, some day Produce a great and glorious invention For making wool from sawdust or from hay, The farmers in each wool-producing section, With mingled fear and hatred in their breasts, Would rise, demanding adequate protection For what they deemed their sacred interests. If it befell that someone should discover A means of making every girl as fair As she appears to her devoted lover ; If beauty could be given everywhere, “Still there would be sad looks and idle fretting, And doubtless in a precious little while Somebody might be found who'd be regretting That plain, old-fashioned girls were out of style. No matter how we toil or how we study To make the world a brighter, better place, There's no such thing as pleasing everybody, Or banishing the frowns from every face. There are so many women who must treasure ‘The foolish little cares that blight and scar; ‘The world is full of men whose dearest pleasure Is finding fault with all things as they are. Sm xrsmx. Won't somebody come and push my feet down? I want to go ashore." WHY HE CALLED. eeyou advertised that you had found a pocket-book, I believe ?" he asked the man who had come to the door in answer to his ring. “did.” “You say it contained a sum of money 2” “Yes.” “A very large sum of money, in fact?” “Yes. ** And that the owner could have same by naming the sum found and describing the pocket-book ? «Yes. Go on.” «That is all I wished to ask.” ++ But you will have to give a description of the purse you lost before you can put in a claim. “T lost no purse.” ‘ou did- n't?” have you call- ed?” “Merely to see what a man looks like who will find a very large sum of money and then advertise the fact in the pa- pers instead of hiding it down cellar. Good- day, sir.” IN NEW YORK. “I'd like to get a Job for my boy, but I don't A WOUNDin know what to put him at. He hasn't any more sense the purse than a rabbit.” Li “Why don't you have him made a street in- is not mortal. spector?”” comicbooks.com