Judge — August 3, 1907 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MABELLE ADAMS, THE VIOLINIST, APPEARING IN VAUDEVILLE. Your skill imparts an excellence To all the palpltating air, And you impart an extra sense Of grace and charm residing there. MASHER WIT. Not often does the professional masher dis- play genuine wit. However, the French variety of this unchaste bird has an audacity that sometimes amounts to much the same thing. A lady from an Illinois town was visiting Rome with a chaperoning auntie, who had forbidden the niece's going out alone. This restriction was naturally galling to the inde- pendent American girl accustomed to the man- like freedom of her country, One day she teased at her chaperon for an hour's liberty until the latter consented reluctantly, and with the express stipulation that the young woman was not, under any conditions, to linger before shop-windows or else- where on the street, In her eagerness for freedom the young lady promised, only to for- get the promise in her untrammeled joy at finding herself unguarded. First one shop-window, then another, attracted her fancy with the novelty of the goods displayed therein, and she lingered frequently. Stopping once, she noted, without a direct look, that a man was stopping near her. Stopping at the next window, she noted that the same man loitered near once more. Still, her alarm was not kindled till she saw him stop beside her at a third shop and heard him accost her with a polite **Good-morning "in French, Indignantly she turned to him, and, supposing him to be ig- notant of English, she stamped her foot vigorously, exclaiming, “Oh, you go to thunder !” +L wel,” came the quick re- + eef ma’mselle wel go wees * STRICKLAND, GILLILAN, SARTAIN. A PARSON may no faddist be Of fashion, don't you know ; Yet often matrimonially He ties a natty beau. ‘THE BEST HE COULD DO. ‘HEY sat on the beach in the moonlight, and held hands, and watched the stars, and listened to the tide as it «walked right in and turned around and walked right out again.” For one week—seven whole blissful days—they had been engaged, and he had promised her six auto- mobiles, four steam-yachts, thirty- eight diamond necklaces, and nine bulldogs. And they were to go to Europe on their wedding-tour, and live on Fifth Avenue when they re- turned, to say nothing of a villa at Newport. As a clock in the distance struck the hour of ten he heaved a deep sigh and said, «*Geraldine, I—I have a sad, sad duty to perform. To-morrow I return to the city.” ** But—but you will come back, Arthur?” + Not this year, Geraldine. I may as well tell you the truth. I work at the ribbon-coun- ter at Stacy's, and my vacation ends to-morrow morning. You see”. «« But—but you are the son of a billionaire !” she broke in. “Alas, no! My father is assistant cook on a liner, so I am only the son of a sea-cook.” + But—but that one continuous round of gayety we were to have !" wailed the girl in tones that frightened the lobsters on the beach (including Arthur). «Not this summer, Geraldine.” « And the autos and diamonds and dear Newport ?” « Pipe-dreams, my dear.” **Oh !"'she moaned, covering her face with her hands, «how I have banked on that round of gayety—that continuous round of gayety! And now you tell me it was all a pipe.” «Say, Geraldine,” said Arthur as he pat- ted her on the back and tried to soothe her, «I'll tell you what I will do about that round of gayety that sticks so in your crop. You meet me next Saturday afternoon, after I've drawn my seven-fifty per, and we'll go to Coney Island and get on a carousel and stay there until midnight. How'll that do for a continuous round of gayety ?” «*Wretch! Fraud! Deceiver!" she ex- claimed as she waved him back and arose to her feet. «I work at the hat-pins counter at Blank’s, only three blocks from Stacy's, and if Lever see you pass the store I'll run out and jab eight hat-pins into your miserable carcass ! Go hence !” . And thus they parted. MAKING HIMSELF SAFE. “Why inthe world did yqu have the feathers élipped from your legs?” "| was afrald of being arrested for carrying concealed ‘weapons,”” WHEN WATERMELON 'S RIPE. The catch of the season in Coontown. THE SAFE PLACE TO STAND. Auto-manufacturer—* Yes, sit; you can depend on it—the ma- chine we make is all right. We stand right back of every one we turn out.” Prospective customer (thoughtfully}—*+ Do, eh? Well, I shouldn't wonder if that was safer than standing in front of the dumb things.” HE LAID THE TOWN OUT. “Yes, sir: my father laid out nearly the hull town. There’ comicbooks.com