Judge, 1907-01-12 · page 3 of 16
Judge — January 12, 1907 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon - "Teacher's Likeness Would Beat It":** A classroom scene satirizing artistic ability. A teacher points to a crude stick-figure drawing on the blackboard labeled "PICTURE OF ME." The student (Willie) admits he "kin draw a good deal worser picture dan dat." The humor targets the teacher's vanity—her poor drawing skills make even a deliberately worse attempt seem comparatively good. **Other Content:** The page includes three additional pieces: a poem titled "The Inedibles" (satirizing unappetizing food), "The Well-Knit College Chap" (about an athlete), and "Just Playing at Marriage" (a brief domestic humor piece). A photograph labeled "Fat and Anti-Fat" appears to be a doctor's testimonial. These represent typical Judge satirical humor circa early 20th century.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
j ) I! Mf | AANA AH HII | HH Wi Hi uty ‘TEACHER'S LIKENESS WOULD BEAT IT. Teacner (severely)—*' Willie, did you draw that picture of me on the blackboard?" Wituie—"No'm. ‘THE INEDIBLES. HEN a little babe, I coveted my mother’s strand of beads— My mouth would fairly water when I spied ‘em. 1 imagined they'd comply with all my gustatory needs Could I only place my silly self outside ‘em. But my mother, wisely patient with her foolish little tot, Would chide me, in her motherhood discreet, And inform me that delectable those beads were surely not— “ They're pretty, but they aren't for folks to eat." In my later youth I used to see the rose-cheeked maid- ens pass Along the crowded thoroughfares so gayly. T adored those girls in bunches—simply loved them as a class, And chose a brand-new fav'rite almost daily. As of old my mouth would water when I gazed upon the bunch Of peachelike femininity peti Yet my common sense reminded me they'd make a horrid lunch— ““ They're pretty, but they aren't for folks to eat.” Now that I am firmly married to a cook-school graduate, Again that proposition doth confront me. ‘ To be sure I'm never tempted with her beads to try my fate, Although I'm grown and know they couldn't stunt me. Yet at every meal she places on our nice installment table Some magazine-made pastry, fish, or meat. T attack these phony victuals just as gamely as I'm able— They're pretty, but they aren't for folks to eat. STRICKLAND W, GILLILAN, JUST PLAYING AT MARRIAGE. SO YVHAT did Tommy and Ethel quarrel about to-day, Jenny 2" ‘Indeed, ma‘am, that was no quarrel. They was only playing being married.” F you have powerful enemies it's probably because you have some I kin draw a good deal worser picture dan dat."” THE WELL-KNIT COLLEGE CHAP. ETHEL' big sister has an ardent admirer who is a college athlete, a big, broad-shouldered chap. Ethel overheard her sister say that he was well knit. The next evening, when the young man called, Ethel went into the parlor to entertain him, “Do you know what sister says about you ?" demanded Ethel. “No. Something nice, I hope,” said the young man. “Oh, yes; it’s very nice,” replied Ethel. “She says you are beautifully crocheted.” FAT AND ANTI-FAT. Mr. SNowrLaxe—"' The doctor told me 1 would have great difficult,’ tn sand in your character. getting my fat down, but I find it harder to get it up. Whew!"* comicbooks.com