Judge — December 22, 1906 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cius memser—" De committee on de deckorashuns hab done made a bad mess ob it A GRAVE MISTAKE. ob de ladies will take de chance o* mussin’ up dere pompadour hair by dancin’ undah it.” NUTS AND RAISINS. F the women had to pay for filling them they, too, would wear socks. No man ever lost a pretty friend by giving her a pair of gloves that were a size too small. Discretion is the better part of valor. Also it may take the form of a set of asbestos whiskers, Happy is the husband and father who knows, as he proceeds to ask grace, that the bills are paid A white Christmas is likely to make a fat graveyard, if the whiteness is due to a lavish use of cotton. It is pocr policy to overeat in order that there may be no leavings to serve during the rest of the week. It is not polite for a gentleman to present a pair of stockings to a lady whom he has known less than three weeks, The boy who has the finest Christmas-tree can still see something on almost any other tree that he would like to trade for. The only real fun some women get out of Christmas is in taking their presents back and exchanging them after it is all over. There is one good thing about the books of poetry and the neck-ties we get on Christ- mas. We neither have to read nor wear them, Santa Claus is the patron saint of the children, but the proprietors of the modern department-stores also ought to hold him in pretty high esteem. One can hardly blame the man who be- THE BONNET-SONNET. There's nothing else! I'll have to write a sonnet And sell it to some monthly magazine. The selling will be difficult. | wean, But there is nothing else—I need a bonnet | Though readers may breathe curses deeo u And deem it the worst sonnet ever seen I would desist were my poor purse less lean— My new spring hat will soothe me when I don it. Now, whereof shall | write? Alas! my brain Seems barren—empty as the hackneyed drum. My pen with strange paralysis fs smitten! lery to inspiration all in vain— My longed-for bonnet-sonnet will not come. What ?—thirteen !—fourteen !—Good. the ‘sonnet 's written! ELEN A. MULWALL. Dey done hang dat mistletoe so low down dat none comes the father of twins on Christmas if he longs for the simple old ways that were in fashion when he was a hoy back on the farm. AN UNHEALTHFUL HABITATION. ‘THE Bodley brothers built two houses ex- actly alike side by side on similar lots and installed their wives therei The broth- ers, being partners in business, received equal shares of the income, and each was the father of two children, But here the equality ceased. The wives of the two men were So different in taste and temperament that each had her own circle of friends and her own way of furnish- ing her home. These diflerences gave rise to much jealousy on the part of Mrs. John Bodley. “Elizabeth 's right down queer and ex- travagant,” confided Mrs. John to an inter- nd she’s always digging les, and calling her rooms ested neighbo up the past, be: hy strange names.” “What do you mean i” “Why, last year,” returned Mrs. John, “she furnished what she called a Louis ca- tarrhal library, and now she’s set her heart on having a Louts quinsy dining-room." ‘THE MEAN MAN AGAIN. 64 | HAVE just heard of the meanest man.” “ What did he do?” Made his wife a Christmas present 0, the receipted bill for the jeweled garter-buckles she gave him last year.” comicbooks.com