Judge — November 24, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE UNEXPECTED GUEST. Witte Monx—" Hurry up, there, Jimmie! Get a move on! If we don nothing to eat.” EVOLUTION OF SPANKING. “Am electric spanking machine is now in use in a public schoo! in Peoria, Ill." —News :tem. E CALL to mind the master grim, With horny hands of leather. Oh, well we all remember him When we were tads together. For when we'd shin the orchard wall, Hook school, or other pranking, His bony palms would give us all ‘The soundest kind of spanking. Time passed. ‘The master feeble grew ; His palms lost force and fire ; But still our pranks were far from few. Each day we raised his ire. So from the schoolhouse on the hill He plucked a cypress shingle, And spanked us one by one until Each nerve would dance and tiv But though the shingle left its mark Until we studied standii Each day would br Despite stern rules commanding. Our blunders made the master rave, ra another lark, Our pranks were still increa Until he got a barrelstave And spanked us without ceasing. The old sch Likewise the good old mas But if he taught his class to-day olhouse has passed away, Perhaps he'd spank them faster. He'd touch a button near at hand And start those paddles swinging, Some fifty spanks each second and— Each one spark-charged and st GRETCHEN BREAKS IN “Chuck! chuck! chuck!" “Vat hungry A TURKEY SHCc- MAKER. S6\JELL,” remarked Archie as he came in from the farm- yard, “you folks won't have to eat barefoot tur- keys this year.” “What do you mean?" asked his mother, The budding hu- morist grinned gener- ously. ++I just shoo'd them,” he replied. NOT CONCERNED. 66CIR," asked the pale- faced, side-whisk- ered man of the heavy- set, chubby-cheeked man who was smoking a long, black cigar and reading a sporting paper,“ would you permit your boy to smoke cigarettes when he grows up “That's a question "t get in there ahead of Hippy we don't get you'll have to decide for yourself,” replied the heavy-set man, ++I don’t know how you would look at it, you see. It's you and your boy for that.” “<I did not refer to myself in the question, sir. What I meant to inquire was whether you intended to permit your own boy to smoke.” “I've never given it a minute's thought.”” ‘What! never pondered upon the effect upon the constitution, to say nothing of the morals, of your son to allow him to smoke the deadly things ?” “Never a thought—no, sir.” + And will you allow him to drink 2” + Thave never thought about it.” “Oh, can such things be—can such things be? Allowing your child to grow up in the midst of temptation and never speaking a fatherly word to’ “+ Look here, colonel! You mean well, I guess, but maybe you'd better let me tell you that I'm a bachelor of thirty years standing since the last girl threw me over, and I haven't any "—— ‘The man of the pale face and side-whiskers was making a dissolv- ing view of himself, THE NATIONAL BIRD. TALL boy from the city was with his mother in the country. They were spending the day on a farm, and the boy was tickled half to death with chickens and cows and pigs and the other useful appurtenances of farm life, Suddenly he came upon a bunch of tur- keys penned up to be sent off on their annual November tour. nma!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands and running “did you ever see so many Thanksgiving birds?” EDITORIAL GENTLENESS. HE office-boy had pied the first page by dropping the form down two flights of stairs. * TL wish,” murmured the gentle editor, «that you had broken the Oh, ma up to the pen, news more gently.” ON A STOLEN NAP. chleval” The suerper—"' Say. can't you let a man get a little rest?” comicbooks.com