Judge — November 24, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A THANKSGIVING HYMN (THE DAY AFTER), A THANKSGIVING TODDY. HE Kentuckian léaned up against the bar reflectively, almost moodily. “ What will you have, colonel?’ in- quired the bar-keep, observing that he was not uttering the thoughts within E him. “A Thanksgiving toddy, if you please,” replied the colonel. “ And what's that ?” said the bar-keep. + A glass of plain water.” “ Wha-wha-what !" gasped the dispenser of souses. “I said a glass of water,” repeated the colo- nel slowly ; ** w-a-t-e-r"—and the colonel spelled it out as if it tasted good, In speechless amazement the bar-keeper served the liquid, and the colonel held up the glass to the light a moment and took it down. “Give me a chaser of red liquor, quick !” he sputtered. This was forthcoming on the call. Then the colonel assumed his normal aspect and the bar-keeper was emboldened to make inquiries “Why do you call it a Thanksgiving toddy, colonel ?” he asked. “Because,” explained the colonel gravely, “I have to drink it only once a year in memory of a dear uncle of mine who died in No- vember, leaving me the fortune he made in the umbrella business.” weJete BREVITY. see WANT sermons short and sweet,” Spoke to the parson Deacon Street. Then the old man on did talk Forty minutes by the clock Of his pigs and wife departed, And how he “for Zion started.” “ Sing short hymns," said Parson Dyer To the leader of the choir. “One short, simple four-line verse Will our thankfulness rehearse." Then on Sam-son's mighty power Parson spoke for half an hour. (CHARLES , SIXMETT. VERY TRUE. WHEN the fool and his money are divorced some man with a good and growing bank-account is usually the corespondent. Drawn by A. Hencke, DOUBTFUL. HE supreme court of ti.c State of Missouri recently wrote the clerk of the Ohio supreme court as follows : “Dear Sir—Will you kindly inform this court whether the emi- nent justices of the supreme court of the State of Ohio wear gowns while on the bench and, if so, how they like them? This court is con- templating such an innovation.” The clerk of the Ohio court, whose office is elective and not pendent on the justices for its incumbency, replied thus : “Dear Sirs—I don't know whether the judges of this court wear sor not. Further, it is not definitely known that they wear un- clothes.” . WHY HE TRADED. USSELL had brought home several white mice and a small rooster to add to his collection of pets, which already was too large to please his mother. Mrs, Hathaway interviewed her small son, and asked him where he had gotten his latest acquisi- tion, ‘+I traded my gun and my typewriter for them,” the boy informed her. “Well, Russell, I want you to take them right back to Donald, get your gun and type- writer back, and tell him that your mother doesn’t want you to have them.” “But Donald won't take them back,” whim- pered Russell, * because his mother doesn’t want him to have them, either. That's why he traded with me.” PRICES. AN enterprising butch- er has the following sign in his window: Chicken, 15 cents Kosher killed, 18 + Chauffeur #20 AMONG THE TALL TIMBERS. ““Whereabouts was Sam Simpson’s son hurt, doctor?” “* He was injured in the lumbar region.”* “1 want to know! Tree fell on ‘im, | s'pose?"" comicbooks.com