Judge — August 11, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

] SNEERS OF A SOURED SAGE. SOFT-SOAP will not wash a reputation. It’s the bill-collector who always finds a man out. A love that feeds on beauty soon starves to death. ‘The world’s greatest inspiration : «+I need the money."” A bachelor’s ideal is something with skirts and a large bank -ac- count. New chair needed in women’s colleges— “Art of Making Men Propose.” “ r a SURGES FAVORITES You can lead a jack- ADELINE DUNLAP, THE ATHLETIC GIRL, IN “THE COLLece wipow."* ass to water, but you We like your nimble-footed. agile grace. can't make him drink it You shed a sunny charm all round the place. __ntittered, i The college widow makes a home-run hit 2 2am Whenever you are there to root and fan for It. No detective agency can compare in inquisi- tiveness and suspicion with the «family next door.” It’s all right to trade your money for experience if you can per- suade experience to trade back. Whenever the millionaire hands out advice on «* success "he never tells his private underhand scheme. It’s unjust, but we're always more suspicious of the man who plays croquet than the man who plays poker. No one could object to a woman having the last word if she didn’t insist on getting in all the words preceding it. PETER PRY SHEVLIN. MAKING IT HOT FOR HUBBY. Private detective— Madam, here is my bill for shadowing your husband during the past four weeks.” HIS TOOTH-BRUSH. Suspicious wife—v Very well; present it to him. And go on ‘Twn’ sonetier’ Uficetiousty)—" Got your tooth-txush withiyou, eh?” shadowing him until you receive further orders from me. Tne satoon—"'No; it's the hippo's. He forgot it.” ‘THE STRIVERS. BREE mowers swung their lusty scythes Now Tom, in places where the stalks And Dick, when he had forged al. ad, . Were thicker than their wont A halt an instant made Tom, Dick and Hal, in rivalry, Worked tooth and nail till all were cut— To take a backward look and see Amidst the waiting gra ‘They strove with might and main. Then paused a bit to grunt. How wide the swath he'd laid! While Hal did pause for grunt nor glance, An advertising parable, But steady toiled apace. Forsooth, is this in rhyme. And of these rivals three which one T’d put my money up on Hal— Proved winner in the race? The “plugger "—all the time. eos IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN WORSE. TABOOED, Evelyn--" Weren't you awfully embarrassed when they named Knicker—"\ wonder why Diplomaticus was so unpopular with you as a corespondent in the Allingham divorce-case ?” the czar?” Gladys— Oh, no; I didn’t mind it much. The papers managed Bocker—« Well, he had a breezy way of referring to Russian court to print quite a decent-looking picture of me." functions as blow-outs.”” POPULAR PAINTINGS (A LITTLE DIFFERENT). — ane qa pee INR AI, RR eee ( eed Breaking Home Ties.” “ After the Bath.” “The Hunt Ball.” comicbooks.com