Judge — August 11, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

=, A CASE IN POINT. Deuced bores, these people around a summer resort. Yes: | feel very tired—to-night.” AN OPPORTUNITY FOR REST. E COME upon the Idle Rumor, taking its ease in a quiet spot. + How now ?” we say with an air of chiding. +* Why this lack of industry? This is no way to get along in the world—lying around like a sluggard, as though there were nothing for you to do.” “Twas quite busy yesterday,” yawns the Idle Rumor; ‘but to- day I can loaf all I like.” “+ Indeed 2" “Yes. You see, this morning they began denying me.” A SPECIALIST NEEDED, Fastidious summer boarder —*Could I have some oil, please, for my cucumbers ?” Farmer Hornikand—* lle! Fer cowcumbers! Wy, them’s th’ slickeriest things, they is, next to a eel, an’ anybody thet cain’t swaller them things without greas- in’ orter see a throat speecialiast.”" LUCKY AT THAT. DURING the first year of our married life my husband would call me up by long-distance ‘phone every day when he had to be away from home.” “Doesn't he do so any more ? fercy, no! The only means I have of hearing from him is through the picture postal-cards he sends the children.”” FOR ACCURACY’S SAKE. Tomdicken—* Did you ever see Miss Plumpleigh in her new bathing-suit ?” Harry—« No; but I've seen most of her sticking out of it." Don't they make you tired ?"* First Traup—" How would yer like Seconp tramp— All right; but jest at present I'd be satisfied wid a seat in dis pair uv trousers."* VACATION REFLECTIONS. (A pantoum.) 9 MIID forties of fashion and grace I’ve basked for a fortnight or more In Nature's impassioned embrace, Afar, on a rockelittered shore. T've basked for a fortnight or more— Each day meant a five-dollar bill— Afar, on a rock-littered shore, Where the breezes were bracing and chiil. Each day meant a five-dollar bill, And I had a hall bedroom at that, Where the breezes were bracing and chill And the 'skeeters were portly and fat. And Thad a hall bedroom at that ; "Twas a wonder how money could fly. And the 'skeeters were portly and fat, And they drained me excessively dry. "Twas a wonder how money could fly— Hotels are a highwaymen's clan. And they drained me excessively dry ; I must borrow some cash if I can. Hotels are a highwaymen’s clan. No more will I loiter, athrob. I must borrow some cash if I can, For I lost everything but my job. No more will I loiter, athrob, ‘Mid flurries of fashion and grace, For I lost everything but my job In Nature's impassioned embrace. EVERY PROFESSION HAS ITS TECHNICAL TERMS, Groxce rrrcn. 66\JHAT wages do you expect ?" asked Mrs. Randolph of Aunt ‘Phronie, who had come to hire as cook. “Well, Ah tell yo’. Ef Ah cooks an’ waits on de table, too, Ah ‘spects two dollars ebery week Ah lives; b-u-t ef yo' all has family reach at de table an’ Ah jes’ hab ter cook, den Ah charges er dollar an’ fo’ bits."* HIS MOTTO. Well-digger—* Now, we have found a mighty good vein of water, but there is nothing like being doubly safe and sure of the supply. Suppose we dig it, say, twenty feet deeper ?” Owner—No. I have always had for my motto, +Let well enough alone. PRESENT NECESSITY. sat in de senate, BIN?” comicbooks.com