Judge, 1906-08-11 · page 3 of 16
Judge — August 11, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon ("What He Got"):** A man in military uniform stands while another reclines in a hammock labeled "Rural Life." The caption jokes about a woman named Cassidy writing poetry for a "Good Housekeeping Society" competition. The satire appears to mock rural domesticity and the contrast between military duty and leisurely country living. **Lower Stories:** "The Delusive Half-Stone" is a poem criticizing rural life's hardships despite its romanticized image—mortgages, labor, and poverty persist despite the aesthetic appeal. "A Genteel Summer Madness" depicts a conversation between a woman (Miss Smith) and a gentleman caller (Mr. Silverly), satirizing courtship conventions and the pretenses of "genteel" society. She questions his sincerity and independence, mocking affected social rituals of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
i Ysex WHAT HE GOT. Pat—" Be th’ hivins, Cassidy! how did ye git th’ oye?” Mixe—"' "Tis th’ fool Oi am, Keegan! Whoile Mrs. Cassidy was wroitin’ a poem on ‘Home an’ Love’ fer th’ ‘Good Housekeepin’ Society,’ Ot interrupted t" ask phat we wor goin’ t’ hov fer supper.”” A GENT-LE SUMMER MADNESS. DEAR DR. BUNKER—I am in a peck of trouble. Last evening | went up to see Edith. I accused her of flirting with that pudgy, THE DELUSIVE HALF-TONE. HE house was quite as bad as any house you ever knew, But anything louks handsome in a half-tone ; 1¢ lawn was but a cross between a frog-pond and a slew, | hl Yet anything looks handsome in a half-tone. The crops had failed for years and years, the mortgage grew and grew; The owner hau to raise the wind, so what else could he do But advertise for boarders for a summer month or two? (And anything looks handsome in a half-tone.) ‘The photograph the fellow made was surely a delight— ‘And anything looks handsome in a half-tone ; The swamp suggested lily-pools with lotos-buds bedight, For anything looks handsome in a half-tone. ‘The hackmatacks and jimson weeds, the haw-trees and the docks, ‘The rag-weed-covered corn-fields with their few and spindling stocks, ‘The morning-glories climbing o'er some old, discarded bald-headed birch-wielder at the Yellen school. “He is a gentleman,” she said. “Yes; a tan gent." “You are afraid of him, Mr. Silverly. He is a detergent “« Deter nothing !" I snapped. «I'll make him feel my vengeance,” “You will take stringent measures 2” “Stringent, astringent, and constringent, Miss Smith.” “Contingent, I suppose," she said mock- ingly “On my ability to break him in pieces?” She nodded. After a pause she informed , ; aN) oe LENE All these looked mighty fetching in a half-tone. He now has seven boarders, and they stand around and cuss To think of the deception in a half-tone. ‘They sought an‘earthly Eden and they found a dirty muss, For anything looks handsome in a half-tone. They've nothing fit to eat or drink, they've nothing fit to see; There's not a thing about the place as they believed ‘twould be. ‘The money spent for comfort purchased only miseree— But anything looks handsome in a half-tone. STRICKLAND W, GILLILAM, me, sweetly, that there are still good fish in the sea, “Yes; and you have been long wishing for a genteel, but he does not seem to be emergent. It is strange that you do not aspire to catch some gent ‘ile,’ like Rockefeller.” She admitted that she was out for agent. «And for argent, miss, after I have been your steady company—your co.gent.” “Well, sir, I do not believe indigence.” **No; you believe inSirgents, but they are indigent. You also sigh to shine refulgent as the wife of an indulgent (but indigent) regent.” She rose and handed me my hat. So our ways are divergent, my case is exigent, and my grief pungent. I wish, doc- tor, you would send me something for my ap- petite. How would gentian do? A DIsTRESSED GENT. A FOREGONE CONCLUSION. sepa, what is a foregone conclusion ?”” Something that you know will happen before it does. For instance, it's a foregone conclusion that if your mother should come into this room now and see me with my fect cocked up and my cigar going nicely, as you see me, she would immediately think of something that—— Ah, there she comes! Listen !"" “« Henry,” she said, ++I wish you'd see if you can’t do something to the dining-room window. I can't get it up or down. And when you get that fixed oil the hinge of the kitchen-door. It squeaks ter- ribly.” comicbooks.com