Judge — July 28, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

But why do you look so cross to-day, old man 2?” “Wa-al, I'll tell you, The barn was struck by lightning, cyclone carried the stable the fence frowning up at the sky. away, mule foundered, incu- **Good-morning, sir!” greet y _ _ bator blew up, and, to cap the ed the agent with professional L|g ” ) = Z climax, the old woman ran briskness as he drew a volume 7 | away with a minstrel man. from his yellow grip. «Let me "Great Henry James! interest you in the most wonder- And to what do you attribute ful work of the age—* Earthquakes such a streak of bad luck ?” . “Why, sun spots, bub— sun spots.” And the old man blew his “No use to show me that quid at a wide-eyed grasshop- hook, young fellow. I know jest per and hobbled back to his what causes an earthquake with- - shanty. VICTOR A. HERMANN. BLAMED IT ALL ON SUN SPOTS. THE wandering book -agent found the old man sitting on and Their Cause: The old man kicked at a liz- ard and growled, out turning a page.” “Ab, you are very well post- HONEST MAN. ed, sir, What, in your opinion, ‘ ILL you love me when HE LEFT IT. ce?” “1 understand Gaddsby left a good reputation her ancet “Ye-yes: | suppose he did. That is, he brought one here with him and had + Why, sun spots." none when he left."* really causes such a disturb- kittenish damsel with the cork- screw curls, the false frizzes, “Him! Perhaps you are right. But, now, in regard to volcanoes. I have a little sci- entific volume here "—— > use to show it, mis- ter. [I know as well as I am sitting on this rail that sun spots made old Vesuvius spout up again.” . “Well, every man to his own opinion, you know. As long as you don’t care to read any scientific theories on the mysteries of nature, perhaps I can interest you in some pra tical farm hints. You have a dairy? Yes? Well, here is a little volume that will tell you just why milk turns to clab- ber without any warning, and “—— " + Know all about it, Lost ten gallons yesterday. Sun spots caused it.” “You don't say? Well, do you know why horses suffer with the colic in the spring ?" “You bet your barlow I Sun spots, of course. a mare that way last and the next day I read where some furrin astronomer had discovered a whole passel of new spots on old Sol. You can't fool me, mist “No; [don't think I'd try.” But returning to farm hints, Do you know why chick- ens have the pip? Sun spots. ‘And why dogs have fleas 2" “Sun spots.” + Well, you are the limit. NOT A BIT STYLISH. Marie—‘* Does Marjorie smoke ?”” * Heavens, no! She's hopelessly old-fashioned."* the suspiciously bright teeth— and the large bank-account. “Why, I love you now, don't 1?” asked the plain, every-day, matter-of-fact, un- diplomatic man who was trying to provide for his future. And oh, brethren! the voiceless wynd that drifts across the open Polar Sea was a hot wave compared to the atmos- phere that surrounded him in a minute. JUST THE THING. First tramp—"1t rt go inter de insurance business, Bill.” Second tramp —* Huh! Dere’s nuttin’ doin’ in dat.” First tramp—* Exactly!" A LA HORSE. LEPA.” asked the litle Wise boy, «* how do they dock a ship?" Mr, Wise never looked up from his paper, but answered off-hand, “Dock a ship? Why— er—why, they cut off its rud- der; of course.” SORRY HE KR. HO kisses a Mrs. May wish he had Mr. 'Twere better a miss Than a hit when he kissed her. Jones —" Why did you give that woman on the car your seat and leave your wife standing 2” Browne —*Great Scott, man! that was our cook !"