Judge, 1906-07-28 · page 7 of 16
Judge — July 28, 1906 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple unrelated items typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **Top comics:** "The Professor's Discovery" shows a naturalist identifying a "water-spider" (likely a joke about an absurd specimen). "Going to Swing High" depicts children boasting about swinging height until Margaret shockingly claims she'll "hug God's heels"—the boy's shocked reaction satirizes religious prudishness over innocent childish exaggeration. **Middle section:** "Light-Fingered Bill Takes Up the Doctor's Time" is a three-panel comic about a petty thief ("Light-fingered Bill") who visits Dr. Foolem's office with suspicious chest sounds. The doctor prescribes a remedy—the joke appears to be that the doctor's solution addresses the thief's actual problem (stolen goods causing distress) rather than legitimate illness. **Philosophical observations:** Brief satirical quips about government, poverty, and human nature. **Advertisement:** Parker's Tar Soap dominates the right side, promoting relief for chafing and skin irritation with medical endorsements. The page is primarily advertising with light comedy filler.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE PROFESSOR'S DISCOVERY. Tue proressorn—"' Ah! there is a magnificent specimen of the great aqua spiderinus, or water-spider. and he's a perfect monster. | must cap- ture him for the Museum of Natural History.”* GOING TO SWING HIGH. SOME small girls were playing in a lawn-swing, while a boy, a trifle older, stood near watching them. One little maid said, + I'm go- ing to swing so high I can touch the sky.” The next added to the height of the imaginary ascension with, ++ I'm going higher’n that—‘way up in the clouds.” Then Margaret, anxious to set a limit that could not be surpassed, made this astounding announcement, «I'm going high enough to hug God's heels." The little girls laughed, but the boy looked shocked, He evident- ly thought such irreverence merited swift and terrible punishment, for he said sternly, + Margaret, if you say that again you'll be lecture- cuted.” DR. FFOOLEM CPFICE HouRS 9-12 AM. 6-8 PM The great aqua splderinus. SOME DISCURSIVE DIDACTICS. N° MAN is licensed to speak merely because he has thought twice. What a short life lacks in length it sometimes makes up in breadth and thickness. He that is down needs fear no fall, but he is in imminent danger of being trampled upon. The rain falleth alike upon the just and the unjust, but the unjust usually has an umbrella. Those who look upon Ii cards stacked against them. The man who hasn’t an axe to grind is usually found turning the grindstone for somebody else. The beauty of a free government is that the less freedom you have the more government you are likely to enjoy. To seek an office and not get it is to be a place. CHAFING, hunter ; but to hold office Prickly Heat, for a generation, that is DANDRUFF Quickly Relleved by patriotism and_ statesr ship combined. Pure as the Pines « Antiseptic, Soothing and Healing.”’ Medical Orronicte, Baltimore. “Bixcellent In Chafing and Itching.’’ Medical and Reporter, Phila. «+ A Real Luxury for bathing and sham- pooing, and a4 protection against con- tagion."" Med. Press. ‘The Packer Mfg. Co, New York. ¢ as a game of chance usually find the DISCRIMINATION. A LITTLE girl had been to the store to buy a slate-pencil each for herself and her small brother and came home crying, **Mamma, isn’t it too bad? T fell down and broke Johnnie's pencil !" EVEN the evils of poverty can best be discussed on a full stomach. 2. The doctor hears strange sounds in Light-fingered Bill's chest — 3. —and prescribes the proper remedy. LIGHT-FINGERED BILL TAKES UP THE DOCTOR'S TIME. comicbooks.com