Judge — July 28, 1906 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘Sue—" George, have you got It fixed yet?” Georce (under the machine for twenty minutes)—"* Certainly. ‘THE BRUTE, ENJOYS THE SCENERY. lam just staying under here to enjoy the beauties of the landscape."* WHY THEY CALLED HIM “EXIE,” 44] EARLY became wedded to Art,” boasted the prima donna who YjR.S— has been a paper-hanger in the village of N— for many had just done a sample warble for the hard-hearted manager. And how long, pray, “Yes? have you been a widow MY BEARDLESS BARRISTER. HAD trouble with the owner Of an adjoining lot About a trifling matter— I scarce remember what— And resolved for my amusement, ‘And to aggravate the brute, To engage a lady lawyer On the matter in dispute. When he got that lawyer's letter My neighbor threw a fit. She not only sued fur trespass, But served a capias writ. A civil action she began, Likewise a case in tort. Oh, one needs a lady lawyer If he’s going into court. Her plea in surrejoinder Made defendant's counsel hum, And she set the ad quod damnum Ata most audacious sum. When our case went to the jury She had but to show her face. Yes, it takes a lady lawyer To put ginger in a case. The upper court rejected ‘The question of appeal, And rebuked defendant's counsel For exuberance of zeal. The full bench then accordingly A rescript kind sent down— For a lady lawyer's smile dispels ‘The stern judicial frown, When I asked my fair attorney What her bill for fees would foot A cheque for what she mentioned ing ‘That a lady k.wyer 's pleased, For of her heart in mortmain Tam now securely seized. WILLIAM LINCOLN BALCH. years. “The last time you were sentenced, what were you guilty of ?”* “Well, yer honor, | wuz sent up fer horse-stealin’, but dat ain't wot I wuz guilty uv.” “What then?” Judge, I'm almost ashamed ter confess it; but | wuz guilty uv hirin’ a lawyer ter defend me."* In his varied house-cleanings he has been accompanied by his youngest boy, whose name seems to be“ Exie.” The old man has grown very’ garrulous, and is prone to notice and discuss the vari- ous wall-ornaments found in the homes of his patrons, The house. wives seem to think this is especially true when he is working by the hour. He was papering a room lately for Mrs. L—. “Yes, Mrs, L— fond of picters,” he said. have time to stop and look at ‘em. Did you know my boy here w named after a picter? Well, he was. Ma and I had been trying to think of aname. We wanted something real nice and uncommon, but couldn't find any nowhere, Finally I found just what we wanted. It was up to the minister's, where I had a-workin’, and it was the name of a man on a picter. A mighty hand- some picter, too. I told ma it, and she liked it first-rate, so that’ what we named him—Ecce Homo. A right handsome name, ain’ I am very “Talways been AT NINE, 66] DON'T enjoy calling on Bessie War men. «But she’s a clever girl and a good talker,” said another, “T know. But her father was a bugler in the army, you know, and at nine every night he takes down his old bugle and blows ‘taps.’ ” “Well, what does he mean by that?” «+ Light out, stated one of the young comicbooks.com