Judge, 1906-07-28 · page 3 of 16
Judge — July 28, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three unrelated pieces of satirical content typical of Judge magazine: 1. **"A Sea-Lullaby"** - A poem about marine creatures indifferent to human concerns, likely commentary on nature's indifference to human problems. 2. **"Competition Useless"** - Top cartoon showing a sea-serpent observing swimmers, with text mocking Jim K. Hanna's anecdote about Iowa cyclones. The satire appears to ridicule exaggerated tall tales about extreme weather. 3. **"Lost and Found"** - A fable where Opportunity meets Failure, illustrating the adage that opportunity only knocks once. When the man is too busy to answer, Failure takes Opportunity's place permanently—social commentary on missed chances. 4. **"Making a Bear Living"** - Bottom illustration showing someone in a bear costume, likely satirizing some contemporary practice or person, though context is unclear. The page exemplifies Judge's mix of satirical poetry, cautionary fables, and topical cartoons.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
COMPETITION USELESS. ‘Tue sea-serrent—‘* Why should I show myself?” A SEA-LULLABY. HE i:tle mermaidens are blinking their eyes, ‘The catfish is purring away The moonfish is slowly beginning to rise And the dogfish commencing to bay. The starfishes twinkle far down in the deep, The seahorse has gone to his stall ; So sleep you, my baby, oh, slumber and sleep, For drowsiness covers us all. Ob, down in the sea all the shadows now creep, And the shadowy shad will supply us with more ; And the drumfish is mufiled in dream drummings deep, And the oyster reclines on his oystermoor. The sea-cow is mooing out over the bars, ‘The whale has been whaling its child For asking the garfish to smoke some cigars And waxing the seal till ‘twas wild. ‘The porpoise is poising itself for a drift, The skate is up north on the ice; So sleep you, my baby, while wavelets will lift Your cradle in swayings so nice. Oh, down in the sea all the haddock have had With the herring a hair-raising romp on the floor, And they sleep in the shade of the shadowy shad, While the oyster reclines on his oystermoor. wiLevR D. wEserT. LOST AND FOUND. OPPORTUNITY knocked once at a man’s door. *Come in,” said the man. Who are you and what do you want? «Tam Opportunity,” replied the visitor. said the man; ‘but this is my busy day. Can't you drop in to-morrow ?"* Some days later Opportunity, happening in the vicinity again, met Failure. + Hello!” cried Failure. going ?" ++ T really don’t know,” replied Opportunity. +L was to call on a man, but I guess I'm lost.” “Then I guess I'm found !" shouted Failure ; and he hurried to the man and dwelt with him ever after. Where are you WHAT JIM K. HANNA OF MUSCATINE SAYS. IM K. HANNA of Muscatine says it gets so hot in that town in summer that people sometimes start their furnaces to cool off their houses. He says that one d. was so hot that when he sat down on a red-hot stove he froze to it, and a baby that fell i bonfire got frost-bit. They have cyclones out there, too. Why, Jim says that he would be ashamed to tell of a cyclone that did nothing more remarkable than blow the feathers off achicken, He says he saw an Iowa cyclone one day that waltzed up to a chicken the chicken right out of its feathers and left the feathers just where the chicken h without disturbing a single feather, and that when the farmer tried to catch the bunch of feathers they flew up in a tree and laid an egg that was nothing but a shell. The cyclone had blown a straw plumb into the egg and sucked the meat out. MAKING A BEAR LIVING. comicbooks.com