Judge, 1906-07-14 · page 3 of 18
Judge — July 14, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate short stories with accompanying illustrations, rather than political cartoons. **"Friendship Spurned"** depicts a confrontation about a lost watch, satirizing social pretension among working-class characters. **"Summer"** is a sentimental poem about nature, with illustration of a woman in a pastoral setting—standard magazine filler content. **"Suburban Economy"** mocks middle-class frugality, showing a man (Grabbie) who borrows a nursery man's labor to plant a tree himself, then brags about the savings while his wife admires flowers she won't buy. This satirizes penny-pinching hypocrisy among suburbanites. **"Sherlock Holmes Outshone"** references the fictional detective, apparently comparing amateur deduction to literary mysteries. The page is primarily literary/narrative humor rather than political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FRIENDSHIP SPURNED. Rivey—"' Oi tried ivery way t' make Costigan foight, an’ he won't. Rooxer—" Perhaps he don’t want yure frindship, annywa; SUMMER. . JO) REATIING the tulm of the subtle hour When the dawn o'er the hills is breaking ; When the dew is crowning each tender flower And only the birds are waking. Hearing the song of the brooklet’s bells Afar in the forest ringing ; Breathing the glory the noonday tells When the birds in the trees are singing. Feeling the calm of the twilight, gray, When shadows their trysts are keeping ; When love returns from the far away And the birds in their nests are sleeping. LURANA W, SHELDON, SUBURBAN ECONOMY. 0,” said my friend Grabbe ; + we don't make use of our oppor- tunities as suburbanites. We go right on hiring things done, just as if we lived in the city. For instance, yesterday I passed Bliffin's place and saw him standing idly and helplessly by watching a nursery man putting out a tree for him. It was some sort of forest-tree that Bliffin could just as easily as not have secured for himself and set out with his own hands, thereby benefiting his health by bringing him into contact with the soil, and at the same time saving some money and adding to his personal pride in his surroundings. Absurd, I tell you— nothing short of ridiculous !* And Grabbe ran for his car. Next day happened to be a holiday, and I saw Grabbe starting for the woods. He had on some disreputable clothes, and carried a borrowed mattock on his shoulder, to say nothing of the look of deter- mination and self-satisfaction on his faca, Grabbe was very popular with himself at that moment. Several hours later he returned with a goodly bush, grime on his clothes, and scratches mingled with the per- spiration and the remnant of pride on his face. But he was still happy and personally on excellent terms with Grabbe, the economist. “Bully little tree!” he puffed as he stopped to gloat over me. “Magnificent little thing! My wife has been wanting a dogwood for years. She admires the beautiful white blossoms in the spring and the rich red berries in the fall. Wanted to buy one—BUY one, mind you! Not much, when I'm around. I just borrowed a grubbing-hoe and oe started out to Mother Nature, to take from her generous lap the things Thanks to a careful training in arboriculture, as taught by mail, I found my tree, recognized it, and soon had it. I wasn't more than two hours at it. Let’s see What! my watch gone? I must have left it in the woods. But I know right where I was digging, and Tl go back after i : I joined him, and the two of us searched diligently but ineffectually for an hour for the handsome gift-watch he had owned but a few months. Nothing could be found of it. Dejectedly Grabbe trudged homeward by my side. But he was stubbornly game. “Oh, well,” he said, “that might just as easily have happened down on Broadway, among a crowd of human beings. And see; 1 have my dandy little dogwood, anyway. Here comes that nursery man now. Hey, there! Ain‘t that a dandy little sapling, though ? Dug it myself, too. The nursery man stopped his wagon a minute, squinted at the bush, then looked puzzledly at Grabbe. + Yes, it's a nice enough little thing,” he said as he clicked at his horse ; «but I don’t see what in thunder anybody wants with a sweet- gum in the front yard!" And then I hurried home, alone, for Grabbe is a member of the church in which Iam a deacon, and he might have felt timid about using in my presence the language the occasion vociferously called for. I needed. SHERLOCK HOLMES OUTDONE. ¢¢A BEAUTIFUL woman with a soft, cooing voice, appealing eyes, and a ready command of flattering words visited my husband's office yesterday.” Goodness! Are you having him w: ‘0. I would scorn to do such a th “Then how do you know about the woman 2” ‘He brought home a book last night that he said he had bought for five dollars from an agent, and there's nothing in it but poems by iched 2?" a man named Byron.” $+}JOW did you come out in that game you played with the Deaf andDumb College ball team 2” “+ guess they'd have beaten us if their pitcher hadn't thrown his arm out of joint while he was in the coacher’s box yelling to men on bases."* Tomicbooks.com