Judge — July 14, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEEKLY 225 Fourrm Avz.,New Youx. Castz Appnzas,“Jupcarx.” Tat. 2214 Gramzncr. Wasrexx Apvaerisinc Orrice—1313 Hariford Building, Oricage, Mt ‘One copy, six mon TERMS TO $ One copy, for thirteen weeks Tnclading the Cunisraas Juoce. FOREIGN SUPSCRIPTIONS—To all foreizn countries in the postal union, $5.90 a year. Enornan s as-acunts—International News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, F.C, London : Brentana's, Avenue de i" Opera, Paris: Saariach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. The contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and Pigoroasiy prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and self-addressed erfrelone with all manascriots, othePiwise return of the Latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contribations sent to the Art Department should have the sender's full name and adéress ‘written plainly on each and every sevarale shetch. The accompanying joke or descriotive letier-oress shonid in every instaxce be writien upon its indtvtdaal picture, and NOT aren a seoarate slip of paver. Inciosure of stamps to the ful! amount of postage (s also required, 10 tasure safe and promot return of material not accepted. 1 JUDGE cannot be fousd at any sews-etand, the publishers will be under obligations If that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. THE ENORMOUS OUTPUT OF CONGRESS. THE FIFTY-NINTH CONGRESS, to date, has beaten the world’s record for talk. Twenty million words is the sum of its outgivings in session, and another twenty million in committee, while its unofficial utter- ance no doubt has reached an aggregate of vocalization which staggers the mind to comprehend. The official word- gatherers tell us that this amazing record is due to the fact, first, that congress is talking faster than formerly, and, second, that the machinery for expediting talk is more perfect than ever before. This puts the services of congress to the country in a new light, and it may be worth while, by 2 few illustrations, to try to make clear to the people just what they are getting fer their money. Bunching together the entire official and unofficial talk, we may place it in round numbers at one hundred million words. An average stump orator, working ten hours a day, could jam through that many words in a little less than nine years. Put into one sentence like a string, these words would reach from the moon to Adam and clear back to Lincoln, Nebraska. Another way of estimating the enormity of this output, and one that will bring it home more nearly to the general comprehension, is to realize that here are enough words to supply Mr. Bryan for his entire campaign, providing he shall be in the running in 1908. WHEN Colonel Jack Chinn of Kentucky goes after an enemy with an umbrella we rise to inquire, whither are we drifting? eee BROTHER DOWIE managed to get $84,000 a year out of his little We do not see where Brother D. has any kick coming. A MAGNIFIED WHITE-HOUSE MENU. N THE THEORY that meat makes the man, we have only to know what Mr. Roosevelt eats in order to be what he is. An enterprising newspaper man, claiming knowledge, has told us that for breakfast the President eats oranges, cantaloupes, cereals, eggs, bacon, lamb-chops, hot cakes, and waffles. On this simple fare he begins the day, but is soon an hungered, and calls for a light lunch consisting of Little Neck clams, stuffed olives, celery, consommé of chicken, fish saute, eggs a la turque, spring lamb, new string-beans, asparagus, mashed potatoes, lettuce, tomatoes, strawberries and ice-cream. This staves off famine during the afternoon, but about seven o’clock the Presidential appetite be- gins to clamor for sustenance. The White House chef meanwhile has been busy, and now sets out the following bite: Split-pea soup, celery, olives, fillet of bass and mashed potatoes, broiled turkey with cel- ery sauce, chocolate fritters 4 la vanille, Long Island duckling, macaroni au gratin, boiled sweet potatoes, new string-beans, stuffed green peppers, fruit salad, tarte- Jettes aux blackberries, Neapolitan ice- cream, Roquefort, coffee. After this the President feels sufficiently stayed to con- verse with friends and callers for several hours before retiring. We ought to add that Mr. Roosevelt later declared that he eats only hard-boiled eggs, rolls and coffee for breakfast, a bowl of bread and milk for lunch, and a dinner of not more than three courses at the close of the day. scheme. BRYAN has $585.00 worth of bees. Great Scott! are they all in his bonnet? ITH a two-billion-dollar congress, who will say the country is going to the dogs? THE LITTLE FATHER of Russia is beginning to lose sieep over the situation, we are told. TRE DAY of the athletic girl has come. Cleveland has had to let out the waistbands for the girls in all the beach bath-houses. ITH Mr. Castro back at his post and Mr. Jiminez on deck again, we may look for a revival in the southern revolution-business any day now. THE GREAT YELLOW GAME OF TAG. THE SPECTACLE of American reporters tagging about Europe in the wake of Mr. Rockefeller and Mr. Nicholas Longworth and his bride is not very flattering to American pride. In spite of the enormous wealth of the one and the novel eminence of the others, these persons are merely normal human beings journeying for pastime and entitled to a reasonable degree of privacy. It is the fate of nota- bility nowadays to be everywhere the vic- tim of the industrious sleuthing of the Yel- low Press. Its every act is under espion- age; its every word subject to pitiless eavesdropping. To say that the public is eager to have all these things spread be- fore its eyes each day is only to recognize the everlasting human greed for gossip. There are no doubt millions of people who would take a hungry satisfaction in a still nearer and more personal view of greatness than the most persistent reporter can ever hope to give. But we have not had the hardihood as yet to exploit this vulgar craving on a business basis. If the habit grows by what it feeds on, we may yet have a press so omnipresent, om- niscient and insistent that every human being will be always in the pres- ence of a reporter especially assigned to his case and his total record be spread before the world the day following, barring nothing. R. HICKS and his socks threatens to bea rallying-cry of the tariff- reformers. THE Ohio experiment of putting the ice-men in the cooler will be watched with interest all over the country. I" SEEMS quite appropriate that Mr. Szisz should have won in the auto- race. You could almost hear him sizzling as he ran. FOR twelve years Mr. J. D. Rockefeller has been out of the oil trust. We wish we could be out of some trust on the same terms. WILL wonders never cease? New York landlord, proprietor of “* Hon- eymoon Row,” is giving a present of a month’s rent for every baby born on the premises. sieve ‘THE COFFIN-TRUST has raised prices twenty-five per cent., and the medics are putting up the birth-fee. This certainly looks like hitting us both coming and going.