Judge — June 23, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE GIRL WHO THINKS SHE CAN SING. * You say that parrot knows more than most humans?" He—" Yes. He knows enough not to try to sing with that voice of his."* FINNIGIN FILOSOFIZES. INNY an unfair person sits down t' a square deal-table, be hivins ! Prisidint Roosyvelt simply don’t loike th’ idee av usin’ th’ muck- ra-ake fer th’ muck’s sa-ake, thot’s all, Minny a man wid th’ proice av a good male in 's pocket don’t know where th’ nixt male ‘s comin’ frum. They's more dyspiptics anxious t' be hungry than they is hungry min na-adin’ t’ be fed, an’ ‘tis less satisfy Most av th’ wa-ails av fear lest Roosyvelt git th’ prisidiney ag’in comes frum thim thot has reasons t’ be afeerd he will, sw. cuutax. IN CONFIDENCE. KNEW," he declared, «that we were meant for each other from the very moment I first saw you.” + knew it," she replied, ‘long before that.” «You did?” «Yes. I may tell you now in confidence, since we're engaged and it's all settled, that mamma has been mapping out our accidental meeting for three months.” SUMMER, ‘CENTED Summer's Salubrious, Sweet. Sipping Sweetness Seldom Seen, Summer Sights Seem So Seraphic, Such Surroundings So “Nonsense! Look at Thompson. Serene. system for beating the races."* WILLIS LEONARD CLANAMAN, AND YET HE IS HAPPY. ‘Sometimes | think I have more troubles than any ott er man on earth.” APPROPRIATE. Kote and Oates were rival candidates for the office of governor in afar southern state, and in the campaign “cobs” and ++ oats” were the emblems of the opposing factions. During this time Colonel Jones, a prominent politician, died, and on his coffin was laid a sheaf of wheat to typify the ripe old age to which he had arrived. + How appropriate !" exclaimed young Mrs, Snow at the funeral. «He was such an enthusiastic Oates man !" ‘THE MAN WHO IS AHEAD. [8 ALMOST every newspaper you pick up you are pretty sure to find alot of gush about the man behind the counter and the man be- hind the gun; the man behind the buzz-saw and the man behind the son ; the man behind the times and the man behind his rents; the man behind the plowshare and the man behind the fence ; the man behind the whistle and the man behind the cars; the man behind the kodak and the man behind the bars ; the man behind his whiskers and the man behind his fists ; and everything is entered on the list. But they've skipped another fellow of whom nothing has been said—the fellow who is even, or a little way ahead ; who pays for what he gets, whose bills are always signed, He's a blamed sight more impor- tant than the man who is behind. All the editors and merchants, and the whole commercial clan, are indebted for existence to this honest fellow-man. He keeps us all in business, and his town is never dead; and so we take off our hats to the man who is ahead. MISTAKE. First spirit—» Well, how do you like the place? Tused to bea reporter when on earth, and "— Second spirit—“Gosh ! then I've come to the wrong place. I thought this was heaven.” ‘4P)O you dote on your D kin-folks ?" He's got a wife, an automobile. and a sure "Relatively speaking, comicbooks.com