Judge — June 23, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a a FES ——fp4X4ligy Az rue Parxen Bortpixc. Fourrs AVENCE a: PUBLISHED WEEKLY NETEENTH STRKET, New Yo: STATES AMD CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. of $2 numbers « One copy, sir ona, oF 28 numbers. - ‘One copy, for thirteen, FOREIC RAN SALES-AGKNTS—Intermational News Company, Bream's building, The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. ES eS 435 Including the Cuntstwas Juoce. SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $5.50 a year. Chancery Lame, EC, London, Brentans's, Avenue del’ Opera, Paris: Saarbach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany, Infringement of this conyright will be promptly and bigorousiy prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inciose a stamped and self-addressed ertrelove with all manascricts, othetiise return of the Latter when found unavailaNe cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Att Devartment should have the sender's full name and address ‘written plainly on each and every separate sheich. The accompanying Joke or descrivtive letter-oress should in ébery instance be written upon its indrotdaal picture, and NOT upon a separate slip of paver. Inciosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage (s also required, to insure safe and promot return of matertal not accented. Us JUDGE canaot be found at any oews-stand, tbe publisbers will be ander obligations If that fact be promptly reported os postal-card or by letter. IT’S A GREAT DAY FOR YOUNG MEN IN AMERICA, TO THE YOUNG MEN out over the country who are making a stir, raising Ned, kicking up a row, doing stunts, raising the wind, and otherwise keeping the excitement going, JUDGE offers greeting. It is the day of young men, and the only way a young man can make himself felt is to get up a yell, turn somersaults, throw up his heels, and cavort like a colt, free, unleashed, untrammeled, in the wide pas- tures of politics. There is young Mr. Colby of New Jersey, whose antics are making the old war-horses snort with dis- may. There is his confrére, Mr. Record of Jersey City, whose defi, hurled at Sen- ator Dryden and the “machine,” has caused a shudder down the spine of the state from Hoboken to Mullica Hill and from Bergen Point to Bivalve. Brother La Follette, though not a youngster in years, is young enough in sheer friskiness to put all Wisconsin by the ears. And look at Sherbie Becker of Milwaukee! Did ever a callow youngster get up a prettier scrap? And behold the brood of world-fixers, the dream-hosts of the new chivalry, the stirrers-up of wrath, the muck-rakers, the socialists, they who will not let us be bad, however much we like it and want to be! Then there’s young Wadsworth at Al- bany. Indeed, why not include the high priest and chief prophet of them all, the Moses of strenuosity, himself still a youth, President Roosevelt? Itis the age of young men, and it’s their turn to howl. A NEW YORK poet has been'robbed of $5,000. Where, oh, where, did he get it? crate Miss BERTHA KRUPP, worth a little matter of $150,000,000 or so, has picked out a poor man fora husband. Bertha is the right sort of a girl. MODERN MAN BECOMING A BURROWING ANIMAL, THE SUBWAY and tunnel habit has come to stay. Civilization seems to have become possessed of a frenzy to burrow. Once a river was an invitation to inventive genius to sail across it. Next it was a challenge to bridge it. Now it is a dare to dig a hole under it. The East River, the North River and the Harlem River have been under-bored. No sooner is ‘one tunnel proposition approved than a dozen more are brought to the front. Philadelphia and Camden will shortly greet each other in under- river caverns. Boston and Chicago are tunneled and subwayed. Just now these mole-like industries are approved because they constitute a sort of commercial ro- manticism. The thought of darting to and fro “electrically through the bowels of the earth, unimpeded by surface obstructions, pleases the imagination and gratifies our vanity of power. But these frail subter- ranean tubes are beginning to sag and crack already. Which suggests that it may turn out one of these days that the craze for burrowing was energy misdirect- ed and money wasted. But since it may take a half century to arrive at this con- clusion it won’t matter much either way. Moreover, from our metropolitan experience, as far as we've got, a subway or a tunnel is such a splendid thing to kick about that they may be counted as a great beneficence while they last. A PRAGUE professor is able to read by the light of a sausage. Wonder if it was shipped from C—ca—o? A LONDON burglar has profited by Sir Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes. He has robbed a bank exactly as Sir Conan Doyle told him to. eee THE Cleveland plan of reading poetry to prisoners is a great success. The prisoners wept and promised never again to do anything that would get them into cells. f THE American people do not feel any the worse toward Mr. Rockefeller that he said good-bye in a cheerful spirit and took leave of his native land kind of natural like. SCHOOLS OF MATRIMONY FOR THE ENGAGED. A SCHOOL for engaged couples is a suggestion that comes from Eng- land with the indorsement of the Bishop of Ripon. Where in all the world is a preparatory school in matrimony so urgently demanded as in this free-for-all republic of ours? Marriage is our one industry which runs wild. Whatever is learned about it is learned by chance. Now, what is needed is a training-school where the engaged young man may go and be instruct- ed how to be a dutiful, a winsome and a cheerful husband. Likewise, havea school for the engaged young woman. The term of the course would have to be much longer than for the young ‘man, because she has so much more to learn. There is a tendency abroad to overload youth with the experience'which comes only from liv= ing; to teach beforehand things which ought not and never can be learned before- hand. But this should not stand in the way of this school of matrimony. Con- sidering all the things a young woman ought to know, and sooner or later must know, if she is to be efficient in the busi ness, we would suggest a course something like this: Five years for a sort of primary and preparatory study; five years to master the business of cooking; five years for dressmaking and home-keeping; ten years in learning how to manage a husband; ten years devoted to the whole subject of babies and the rearing of children; then a post-graduate course of fifteen years in the related subjects of home-sci- ence, the home and politics, the home and the charch, society, and the club. After such a course girls would be not only qualified to be wives, but they would be first-class angels. 'OUNG WOMEN warranted to keep house for husbands earning ten dollars a week is the latest. It ought to be a great go. WE ARE pleased to note that at a caucus at Pawhuska Mr. Bacon Rind got the nomination. Congratulations, Bacon. eee EVEN the government free seeds are a fraud. Think of asking for red clover and finding when too*late that Uncle Sam has given you a “* parasite plant dodder,”” or ** yellow trefoil.”” eee LOUISVILLE, as the result of certain temperance longings, tried one ‘Sunday face to face with the town-pump. It had such a depressing effect, it appears, that Louisville has not been heard from since. HAT’S the matter with Europe, anyway? Bombs in bouquets at wedding-parties, bombs in girls’ hair, bombs in bread, bombs in coal-scuttles, under czars’ chairs! Some day we shall look toward Europe and Europe won't be there, Comicbooks.com |