Judge, 1906-06-09 · page 3 of 16
Judge — June 9, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon illustrates a domestic comedy about marriage and money. A well-dressed couple contemplates marriage; she married him for his wealth, but he didn't actually have it—a reversal of typical gold-digger expectations. The joke plays on Edwardian-era anxieties about mercenary marriages and financial deception. Below are several short satirical pieces and humorous poems targeting contemporary social types: clergy, Jewish immigrants (Dan's mixed-faith family), and educational pretense ("His Antecedents"). The central illustration of a bird with a mouse appears unrelated to surrounding text. The remaining sections include light social satire about berry-picking etiquette, baseball talk, and geography education—typical Judge fare lampooning middle-class manners and institutional follies rather than specific political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SAD TO CONTEMPLATE. He married her for her money. Wasn't that awful?” Did he get it?” GWEET graduate, don’t spend your days By burning worlds ; ‘tis lonesome fuss. Give up your blaze And come to us. HIS ANTECEDENTS. AN'S father was a Hebrew, his mother a devout follower of John Calvin. His fifth birthday found him snugly seated in the Sunday-school of his mother’s choosing. “What are you doing here?" indig- nantly demanded ayoung hopeful.“ You're a Je “Lain’t no Jew,” wailed Dan, My mother 's a Presbyterian and my father ’s an Elk.” A BOX OF BERRIES. you purchase the berries With gusto and bliss. And note their dimensions Enormous, like THIS. 1 dig to the bottom With sorrow, I wis. The box is a bunco, ‘The rest are like this MC LANDRUKGH Witsox COUNTERACTING THE EFFECTS. +s TACK, you are an ardent devotee of baseball, I notice.” “No; but after I've talked golf all afternoon I like to read about two columns A JUNE PLEA. Dear graduate, we're sparkin’ you. Love makes great fools of all of us. So hearken to The call of us. DISAPPOINTING. ‘Tue eRoiwer—"' One thing is sure—aerial navi- Fair graduate, why tarry thus? Some future day you'll look fc ‘To marry us And cook for us, SCRAPS OF SAPIENCY. HIS is the open season for killing end- seat hogs. Nature is truthful, though some peo- ple are natural liars, For an apple to boast that it isn’t a potato shows mighty poor taste. A familiar signature may make a good story better, but it can’t make a bad story good. Graft and professional politics are so closely interwoven that you can't cut them apart without drawing blood from both. A woman will usurp the end seat in a car for a dozen blocks, get off backward, and walk away with all the serenity of the consciously-perfect. stmcxtaxo w. cituitan, HIS NOTION OF IT. THIS was how the geography put it: “Where the pine forests of the south have been cleared away are now to be found flourishing truck-farms.”* This was the teacher's question : “What do we now find where the pine forests of the south have been cleared away 2” ‘of baseball talk to rest my head.” gation is not the fun it's cracked up to be. And this was the answer: comicbooks.com