Judge, 1906-05-19 · page 5 of 16
Judge — May 19, 1906 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated pieces rather than a unified political cartoon: **"Finnigin Philosofizes"** presents a woman musing on gender relations—asserting women shouldn't be judged by clothes until "the family wash out on the line," suggesting hypocrisy in respectability standards. **"Grierson's Way"** describes a lost theatrical manuscript and a $500 reward, appearing to be a humorous anecdote about theatrical life rather than political satire. **"Modern Education"** shows a father with a young boy discussing physical exercise, reflecting early 20th-century anxieties about children's health and parenting. **"Annie Laurie"** is a song with phonetic pronunciation guide—a popular feature in period magazines for readers unfamiliar with Scottish dialect. The page mixes humor, advice, and entertainment content typical of Judge's miscellaneous editorial approach rather than focused satirical commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FINNIGIN FILOSOFIZES. WOMAN is th’ bist or th’ wur-rst, th’ pur- tiest or th’ ugliest, creature in th’ wur-rld. afther a while th’ Unoited Sht: sinate will begin t’ ha-ate utsilf, an’ thin th’ sintimint will be unanimous. Th’ pessimist thot's thried iverything ilse an’ tired av ut might thry bei aman a while, jisht fer v: riety’s sa-ake. Manny a woman boasts av her husband's fr-reedom fr-rum timpta-ation thot wuddent boast if she know- ed how he got 's immunity. Thot man who said, “1 said in me ha-aste all min *ar-re loiars,” he needn't hov bin in sich a shplutter in ordher t’ ka-ape fr-rum cha-angin 's verdict. STRICKLAND W. GILLILAN, ates, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MISS BLANCHE RING IN VAUDEVILLE. Go to, oh, muse, and Sing—Sing Of the charms of Miss Blanche Ring— Ring Loud and clear, all bells that Ring—Sing, All who sing, Sing of Miss Ring. Sing— Ring, For every show is bound to go When she is in the cast, you know. DONT judge people by their clothes until you see the family wash out on the line. ANNIE LAURIE. (As sang by Miss Flora Blimm, with accompaniment by the Bowersville brass band.) JA-AXWEL (poom-pah-pah) TON’S braes are (boom-pah, poom-pah) bonnie (pleet-eet), Where ear (o0m-pooh-pooh) ly fa’s the dew (poom-poo- poom-pah), And twas there (bim-bam) that An (zim-boom) nie Laurie (p-r-r-r-r-poom) Gie'd me (200-200) her prom (pum-poom) ise true (pum- poom-pah-pum). Gie'd me (peet-peet) her prom (poom-poom) ise true (pum- pooh-pah-pum), Which ne'er (blim-boom) forgot (pung-poong) shall be p-Fr-rer-e-e-e-et-pom !), And for bon (bum-boom) nie An (zum-zoom) nie Laurie (bing!) I-I-I'd lay (floom-flim) me doon (zish-zish) and dee (OM- OOM-UM-IM!). Oh, her brow (wow-wum) is like (bloot-bleet) the snaw- drift (pung-poom-pah) And her neck (bing-zim) is like (poom-pum) the swan (bim-bam-bum-boom), And her face (r-r-root-rr-roo-t) it is (pum-pooh) the fairest (teedle-eedle) ‘That e’er (bingalingle) the sun (bungalungle) shone on (bur-r-r-room-pah). ‘That e’er (um-pooh) the sun (om-pfugh) shone on (pung-poong-pah-pum), And dark (pleetepleet) blue is (zing-zing) her eye (pah-pooh-pah-ping), And for bon (teedle-cedle-cedle) nie An (ooh-voh) nie Laurie (200-0om-zum) I-L-I'd lay-ay (bling-teedle) me doon (pung-poodle) and die (pum.poom- pah-pum). (Pah-pung-pah-poom. Pah-pung-pah-teedle-cedie-cedle, BUM-BIM! Eedle-cedle-cedle-cedle-cedle-ceeee ! WISE-ISMS. N SPITE of the periodical explosions of battle-ships in time of peace, there are some who will go right on blaming the Maine disaster on Spain. If a man were to come along with a gun shooting at everybody not absolutely innocent of every form of graft, there are few of us that wouldn't dodge. VERY TRUE. T is well to remember that the fellows who are all wind seldom come to blows. “GRIERSON’S WAY” AND THE $500 REWARD. PRIOR to the rehearsals of «+Grierson’s Way” the usual press-agent adver- tisement appeared in the papers : + Lost— the only manuscript of *Grierson’s Way." The finder will receive $500 reward from Henry Miller.” Of course there was no such thing as a lost play, and I was not afraid of the possibility of paying the re- ward, for I possessed the original manu- script. But ch, what a difference a mere week makes! Rehearsals were well nigh over when one night, coming from the club, I carelessly left the much-advertised manuscript in a cab, intending to re- turn a few minutes later, When I came back the cabby had found a better fare, let us hope, and was nowhere to be found. Imagine my chagrin, not at the faithless cabby—Lord, no !—but Grierson's Way” was in that vehicle, and $500 reward might be claimed from me at any moment by the lucky finder, For many a day afterward I trembled at the approach of a stranger or messenger. No one ever called for the reward, and the manuscript to this day has not turned up. HENRY MILLER: MODERN EDUCATION. HARRY, seven years old, came home from school the other day and rushed into his mother’s room with the news, “Mother, what do you think? We're going to have physical tor- ture twice a week now !" CONFIDENTIAL. john seems to have foozled in making love to me." Tue cour ort Well, something ’s gone wrong with my sparker, too,"* Tue auro GiRt- comicbooks.com