Judge — May 19, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RUS IN URBE. Bob Greenfield, who loves out-of-door life madly, but can't get away from town, fits up a camp on his roof and does very nicely. FRIENDSHIP’S UNEARNED INCREMENT. OW often have you met a man and marked him * friend for life,” Then changed your verdict afterward when you have met his wife? INS AND OUTS; OR, THE MAID’S PERPLEXITY. THE bvo young men reached the door at the same time. HOW I EARNED MY FIRST DOLLAR. 1,—GEoRGE ADE. GEORGE ADE has a modest way. This man, who has had a brand of domestic panatelas and a town named for him, and who has been mentioned as a candidate for congress, is a very violet. You like him because he makes you feel bigger and brighter than he, no Is Miss Swellington in?” they asked. matter who you are. But you are not, no matter who you are. ‘The maid, Norah, looked at them and shook her head disconso- We were at Hazelden Farm. It is near Brook, which, as the y careful reqder has guessed, is in Indiana. Mr. Ade was hoeing the “She's in to wan av ye an’ out to th’ other,” she said at last; “but th’ two av ye comin’ together has got me so tangled Oi'm blest if Oi know which is which, But r4 come roight in, both av ye, an’ Oi'll ax her to come potato-patch. “Do I interrupt?” we asked. «Just a moment,” responded Mr. Ade, giv a hitch to his overalls, after the fashion of sailors in down an’ pick ye out. comic opera, “and I'll be with you." ++ You see,” ‘ Hf THE GRAMMATICAL PRISONER. he said when he had joined me, «I was having my ; HA TIC . picture taken for a literary magazine. It is publish- ++ AND when he said skiddoo what did you do? asked the judge. ing a series of * Authors-at-Work’ sketches,” he en asi ; added without cracking a smile, “and I have on my “1 skiddid, your honor,” said the prisoner. fatigue uniform, It’s the only time I ever wear it. “Mr. Ade,” we asked, proceeding at once to . 7 sip ane larrertg er as +4 the object of our assignment, «how did you earn - AND MRS. BLANK recently moved from vour first dollar?” the city to the suburbs, The first night in sees ahaa he queried their new home their five-year-old son climbed into oc How did you earn your.frst dobae? bed as soon as he was undressed. Willie,” said his mother, «haven't you for- «The question is,” he repeated, how did I earn my first dollar? That is a most difficult inter- rogation which you propound, Mr. Bones—How Did I Earn My First Dollar? Iam afraid I shall have to give it up. How DID I earn my First Dollar?” “Seriously,” we pleaded, ++ how did you ?” “1 didn’t," answered this shrinking violet. “I've been paid a great many, but, honestly, I never earned any of “em.” Realizing that our interview was a failure, we hurried to catch the 4:57. FRANKLIN F. ADAMS. ¥ Stops oa signal only. ANOTHER VERSION. THE wealth by some men grabbed and kept Was not attained by any right; But they, while honest people slept, Were stealing from them in the night. sme, gotten to say your prayers ?” + Why, mamma,” he replied, ++ is God way out here, too?" A PROTEST. Andrew Lang says there is no thyme for " scarf.""— The Scrap bok. I, Andrew Lang he ups and thinks There is no rhyme for scarf. ‘Tis plain he never stops and drinks A glass of ‘arf-an'~arf. Oh, Andrew of the Magic Inks, Sometimes you make me larf! THE GIFT OF SPEECH. Lady—+ You said this parrot had the gift of speech. He does nothing but holler and shriek ana say nothing. Dealer—*1 meant de gift uv * political speech,” comicbooks.com