Judge — May 19, 1906 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

zz Gf & a PUBLISHED WEEKLY Ar mur Pangea Borepixc. Fourrm AVENUE axp Nineraexta Sraxer, New Yorn. ford Building, Chicage, lit, 3 ERS: UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, weeks Tncladis misTHAS JUDGE. PSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal Lnion, $4.50. year. The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. remtano's, Avenue del" Opera, Paris; Saaréack's News Exchange, Mains, Germany, Infringement of this cooyriytt will be promptly and rigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast inclose a stamped and self-addressed etrelove with all manuscriots, otherivise retars of the Later when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed, DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the descrinteve letter-press should in every instance be w insure safe and promot return of matertal not accented. t Devartment should have the sender's fall name and adéress Ywritte fen upon its indroidaal picture, and NOT upon a separate siip of paver nly on each and every separate sketch. The accompanying joke or Inciosare of stamos to the fall amount of postage 1s also required, 10 1 JUDGE cannot be found at any news-stand, the publishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported on postal-card or by letter. “UNCLE JOE” SANE AND HEARTY AT SEVENTY. NCLE JOE CANNON’S seventieth anniversary was as well worth celebrating as any national event of which we have knowledge. To be sure, Uncle Joe is a living politician instead of a dead statesman. But that is why we think it is worth while to celebrate his arrival in health and a high state of public efficiency at the sev- entieth milestone of his career. It would take a library to hold the good things which have been said about the speaker anent his birthday. Congress has done him the honor of rag-time praise. His eulogists have said he is not a czar, but a “good fellow.” He is a “*jollier,” but only because he is an amiable gentleman. Firm in his own sense of right, he recog- nizes the rights of every other man. He is an optimist, but not a dreamer. By no means a trimmer, he is diplomatic; and, best of all, he is weighted with no great alarms about the drift of the country to the demnition bow-wows. Simultaneously with this septuagenary furore, Uncle Joe’s presidential boom has taken on new life. As showing the hard pan which bottoms the homely hoosier in- telligence of the speaker, we think his remarks on this subject are timely and characteristic: ‘* No man has ever declined to be President, and never wi The campaign next fall must be a united effort on the part of all Re- publicans, and there must not be injected into it the personal ambitions of any man. - We must not only elect the next house, but we must conclude the next session of this congress in a manner satisfactory to the majority of the people. * It would be wise for us to attend to the work immediately in hand.” President booming has become too much like an established industry. wee As near as we JACK LONDON rises to explain that deadly parallel, can make out, he shows that he didn’t plagiarize, but just took the other man’s stuff and made it into literature. eee A YOUTH WHO IS NOT A PARLOR SOCIALIST. JUDGE commends “‘ Sherbie” Becker, the boy mayor of Milwaukee, to the lor socialists ” as an object-lesson. Young Becker is twenty- six years of age, the son of a bank-president, rich, a graduate of Harvard, a globe-trotter, and by preference and sheer love of the business a politi- cian, Dubbed by his opponent in the late mayoralty contest as “' the brat born with a silver spoon in his mouth,” he replied that his opponent “was born with a tin horn in his mouth,” then sailed in and licked the seasoned campaigners and won out with a flourish, From all that we hear, the young mayor is a plain- spoken, democratic, likable fellow. He tuns to fires with ‘‘ the boys,” goes to the dances of the Poles, Slavs, Bohemians, shakes hands with everybody, makes speeches, talks in simple, straightforward language about the every-day things of municipal housekeeping, and at once shows his zeal in the cause of good government, and inspires a like zeal in others. This is ‘a good way for young millionaires to do. The example is fine. Beside young Becker, how paltry is the behavior of a host of wealthy young men who are going to seed, filled with ennui, and drearily hunting about the world for some way to amuse themselves and spend their money, ANOTHER cut in Panama impends. Not a canal cut, but a salary cut. BOSTON not only gave money, but also’a car load of beans, to San Francisco. a W'tk a debt of $3,944,950,000, no wonder John Bull is looking glum nowadays. HOBSON, Carnegie, and now Governor Hoch ! kissing trouble increases! How the succession of WHEN one thinks of Dr. Crapsey, who has been starring in a heresy trial, somehow the word scrappy is always suggested. eee D® HANSTEEN, a Norwegian chemist, has discovered that moss is the best food ever. Dinner for six costs two cents. Hurrah for Hansteen ! THE YOUNG FOLKS WHO TRY TO AMUSE THE CROWD. Att OVER this broad land, from now until the end of summer, the great city-herded and factory-stifled populations will turn themselves out to grass on the Sabbath da An incident of the home-going at the end of the rural outing is coming to have an unpleasant prominence wherever these throngs are found. Here is a typical scene: A train half filled with respectable folks draws into a station, In- stantly bedlam breaks loose and the train becomes a vortex of the struggling mass of yelling, frenzied, violent and irrepressible humanity. Perhaps, indeed, all too free- quently, it is the baseball nine, fans and followers going home. The young men enter the train a good deal as the avalanche makes its way down the mountain. There is apt to be a liberal sprinkling of royster- ing, loud-talking girls, chewing gum, in the crowd, and they all yell and trample the passengers under foot, throw sticks, clubs, branches of trees, gum, and otherwise make merry in such an enthusiastic man- ner that the respectable people before men- tioned are in a state of terror. On one train entering New York thirty-one arrests of young people were made. These people are not drunk—they think they are making fun for the other passengers. Somebody ought to have the courage to take in hand these Sunday-night crowds, homebound after their country airing, and teach them decency and self-restraint. The out- right ruffianism of the young men and the hoydenish obstreperousness of the young women is a serious reflection on the character of the home-train- ing that now obtains among us. Mé¢Yor GEORGE W. GUTHRIE of Pittsburg appears to be trying to get into the Mayor Weaver class. D®: OTOMAN ZAN ADUSHT HANISH is with us again. He will expound the Mazdazinan philosophy, which in English may be termed razzledazzieism. eee How MEAN the newspapers can be! Mayor Tom Johnson invents 400-mile-an-hour auto, and one paper says he wants it to chase officds with, while another says he wants it to escape from his own torrent pf words. eee Poor Father Gapon! Having been assassinated, he was thrown ig to a dungeon, then banished to the steppes, was Killed again, and bec: ahired spy for the czar; got another killing, was imprisoned, was fingilly assassinated once more, and then retired to a quiet life in Finland. So} say the papers.