Judge — May 5, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘THE LINING. EVERY cloud has a sil- verlining. The man with somnia doesn’t keep other folks awake with his snoring. in- «You will never know- who your friends are un- til you have trouble.” Their evident satis- faction over your misfor- tunes will read- ily distinguish them at such times. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. MISS RUTHIDA FIELDS IN "IT HAPPENED IN NORDLAND.” In Nordland! Quaint, quixotic land of mirth! There beauty dwells and grace and charm. The earth No fairer realm can show The entire blooming map, Beside the Fields In Nordland, is not worth a rap. Llike a wo- man who is ‘all soul,” but I'll be darned if I'll eat her cooking. IN DARKVILLE SOCIETY. Dr. Pelatiah Poindexter (at the christening)—«I now proceed to chrysm dese two twin humanitarians ob de kingdom an’ ob de Fust African Methodist Episcopal Zion Chu'ch by de appelations ob— (whispering) + What de pickaninnies’ names, Sistah Slowfoot ? Sister Amarinthia Slowfoot (proudly)—"' De boy—dat's de one wiv de blue ribbon—his name is Castor; an‘ de gal-baby—in pink— she's called Castoria. Dr Pelatiah Poindexter (continuing)—"* In de name ob de chu’ch militant de chu'ch triumphant, I pronounce yo’ Castor an’ Castoria. World widout end. May de Lawd hab mercy on yo'r souls !” JULIET, THE COLLIE, AND. THE POTION SCENE, SEVERAL years ago I had an experience in Baltimore that I shall not soon forget. I am very fond of dogs, and my favorite is a Scotch collie that I always carry with me wherever I go; but by some mischance, while I was playing in the monumental city, the dog strayed away, and for three days we made futile search for the pet. We advertised, offer- ing big rewards, and were re- paid in the usual lost-dog fashion by having to inspect all kinds, breeds and descrip- tions of animals brought to our doors by persons eager to capture the prize, On the evening of the third day my collie was caught at a police- station on the other side of the town, and my brother brought him to the theatre, not think- ing to hold him in leash when he came to the stage-door. I was in the most trying part of the tragedy, the potion scene, when the collie, hearing my voice, made a bound for the stage ; and just as I was ready to take the potion he sprang toward me and, leaping up, placed both paws upon my shoulder. I was so glad to see the prodigal that I forgot my business entirely, threw my arms about him, and stood there hug- ging him within full view of the audience, It is scarcely necessary to add that the curtain had to come down. OLcA NeTaeRsoLe. OLGA NETHERSOLE. THE man in office nowadays who has never been suspected is indeed a fit subject for suspicion. MAKING A RAID. 1 “‘Ab-ha! gamplers on my beats! 1 makes dem schweinnickles skoo- doodle righd avay kvick!"" ‘THE POINT OF VIEW. Hey! Maybe you t'inks Officer Bumbernickle is a tam foolishness? But I show dot he ain'd — NO HURRY. THE cage hangs high against the sky. ‘There comes a little gilded fy ; The cage he spies, and to it straight Directs his airy, idle gait. “Lala!” cries he. “It is to me The best of things come easily. To this so gay bijou palais It seems I have the free entrée." See pretty Chicot eating seed! A very sturdy bird indeed. The shells fly fast, a plain menu— But wait! There's something coming through ! Asnap. «'Tis mine!" A bird benign: “My word! but that entrée was fine! I wish some more would come. (Whick! whack!) It quite improves one’s little snack.” ALICE REID. und a pail in vich to ged it. und boy Chakey to blay dudy. Dot is vat mit, und some pabers to reading ven I geds off call schmardtnesses."* Mrs, Newlyrich—“ We haven't a single ‘old master’ in our art-gal- lery, John.”” Mr. Newlyrich— Never mind, Jane ; they will ad? be in a few hun- dred years." HIS FINISH. Bronco Bill—\Yes, de tender- foot wuz killed by his auto.” Grissly Pete—“ How did it happen?" Bronco Bill— He run over Al- 3 kali Ike's dog.” —A\in'd it? pecause here iss ten pennies for von pind ohf Pilsner, & nice set ohf dices for mine leedle GODA-WATER is not unhealthy merely because it is vichy-ated.