Judge — April 28, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DISQUALIFIED. “Yes; _we had to drop Mrs. Jones from our ‘ mothers’ society.’ “Why ? “She insisted on bringing her baby with her.”* COMMENTS OF A CYNICAL CODGER. IRTUE is its only re- ward, It's intuition when we guess right. When the devil 's to pay we get no credit. The self-made man generally has a self-made-up wife. All the world’s geniuses are working for the clever men. Often the kitten- ish young girl devel- ‘ops into the old cat. Suicides haven't any brains, so how can they blow them out? A dressmaker can spoil the whole effect of a Sunday sermon, Politeness costs nothing. Accordingly, it is a cheap and effective equipment for the bunco-steerer. The clergyman makes two lovers one, but the butcher and grocer do not do mathematics that way. Some men have business tact, but it is the financial genius who can coin money out of each and every bankruptcy. Out of sight out of mind. Very true. Blind Cupid is out of sight, and everybody knows that he is entirely out of mind. Do not get angry if a man gives you a bad cigar. He may merely be returning the cigar you presented him with yesterday. veven ray suevum. HIS TROPHIES, sepyip you kill all those animals yourself?" asked the vis- itor who was admiring the fine deer, elk and moose heads that were stuck up in the new mansion, + Yes,”" proudly replied his host. “By the way, why have you had that old cap fastened above the door ?”” ** That was worn by a man whom I mistook for a deer.” JUST so. SOME men are born great, some achieve greatness, and of the others about one in every 1,000,000,000.000,000,000 has greatness thrust upon him. IN SEVERAL STATES. 660), COME with Me, my love,” he said. + | We'll seek sume quiet, shady Del. Where I Kan. kiss a dainty Miss. Ore. tell again of Cupid’s spell. “Tenn. times I love you, and I Wis. You'd "Ark. to me N. C. my heart A-beating inwardly fur you. I swear from you Ill. never part.” “Oh, La.,” said she, “I'll Nev. Va. go. T'll call Pa, Better let me be. Besides, you only want my Mon. ; So don't get Ga. No Conn., D. C.?" PERRIN LAMBERT. WHY SHE SULKED, Lovey (on waking in the morning)— “Dovey, I dreamed that I wasn’t married to you. Do you ever dream, Dovey, that 00 iddent married to me?” Dovey (sleepily)—'+ No-o-o! It’s been years and years since I had a really pleas- ant dream.” And Dovey wondered why Lovey didn’t speak to him again that day. A CATCH, s¢}JOW did you and your wife first meet ?”” “We didn't meet,” replied the meek little man; ‘she overtook me.” IN BAD COMPANY. Marooned Mixe—"* That prisoner we have aft sez he’s a New York cab-driver, Cartain Kutrurore—‘* Holy mackerel! to the sharks with-him. And find out quick if the treasure we secured is safe." comichooks.