Judge, 1906-03-17 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 17, 1906 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical vignettes typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Out of the Frying-Pan"** mocks a wealthy young man ("Bobby") who serially faces romantic scandals—he's barely settled one breach-of-promise lawsuit before taking up automobiling again, suggesting cars attract new romantic trouble. **"What He Wanted"** plays on fortune-telling: a patron seeks not to learn his future but to discover what burdens the future will remove from him—satirizing common anxieties about debt or obligation. **"Opened by Mistake"** darkly jokes about unnecessary surgery: Mr. Jones undergoes appendectomy only for doctors to discover nothing was wrong, then send him home with an apologetic note. **"The Hopeless Hobo"** presents a vagrant too cynical to seek work, anticipating rejection and poor treatment. **"Her Hope"** and **"On the Installment Plan"** offer gentler family humor about appearance and poverty. The final "Favorite Times" section provides pun-based humor about different groups' preferred time periods, including a reference to "T.R." (Theodore Roosevelt).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OUT OF THE FRYING-PAN. * Bobby Is taking to autoing again.”* “Oh, dear! And he's hardly got that other breach-of-promise case settled yet." WHAT HE WANTED. 64 AH,” said the fortune-teller, sighing deeply and getting a mystic expression into her eyes, ‘*you wish to learn what the future will hold for you?" + Not exactly,” replied the patron, passing over his dollar. +1 want to find out what the future will let go of for me.” home to by mistake.” ZA HER HOPE Morner (hopefully) —"' Yes, Willie; It is your mother’s great desire to see you grow up to be as handsome 3 your uncle there." OPENED BY MISTAKE, MB. JONES had appendicitis and was taken to the hospital and operated upon for this disorder. nothing whatever was the matter with him, whereupon he was sent is family with a brief note stating that he had been « opened It was then discovered that ‘THE HOPELESS HOBO. THE hobo stood before the gate; His face was pinched and drawn. He saw a pile of kindling-wood Across the smiling lawn. A light uf hope burned in his eyes, Then died away to gloom. Cadaverous his face became ‘And mournful as the tomb. “+ IFT should ask for work,” said he, ““I£T should split that wood, Then probably they'd feed me some ‘Adulterated food !" Lm. Rossin, ON THE INSTALLMENT PLAN. seHow can your folks afford to have so many children, Bob- by ?” we ask the little boy. «+ Well, we don’t get ‘em all at once; we get ‘em a little at a time, on the installment plan,” he replies. FAVORITE TIMES. D!PLOMATS—Pacific time. Telephone-girls—Central time. New-Yorkers—Eastern time. T. R.—Mountain time. Legislators—Pastime. Sailors—Maritime. Early risers—Betimes. Procrastinators—Sometime, Everybody—Dinner-time. Antiquarians—Any old time.