Judge — February 3, 1906 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A TRICK ON SIR MOREL. The Belgiaris once succeeded in get- cut rates on an operation from Sir Morel McKenzie. He engaged to attend gease at Antwerp. When he landed he vas met by three men in mourning, who informed him, according to the Keader Yagazine, that the patient had died, but hat tiey would pay his full fee. * And now,” said the man, ‘since you are here, what do you say to visiting the ity hospital and giving a clinic for the henefit of our local surgeons ? It is not cen they have an opportunity of bene- fung by such science as yours.” sir Morel said he would gladly comply. He went to the hospital and performed many operations, among which were two asimilar nature to that for which he had been called over. When he finished, all thonked him profusely. On the steamer going home he met a friend who had a business house in Antwerp. “Pretty scurvy trick they played on ov, it Morel. «What do you mean ?” asked the sur- gon er «Told you the patient died before you arrive I.didnt they 2" “Lied. You operated on him and a friend with the same trouble at the clinic, Got ts. 0 operations for one price !* M2. GILDER’S JUDICIOUS REPLY. The young woman journalist was en- tertaining a-half-dozen Wellesley under- gradu ites at tea, It was in an expensive apartment. Plainly the young woman journalist was doing well “Yes, | am doing weil,” she admitted, «I write fashions now. But when I was ahigh-class journalist, interviewing celeb- rities on my own hook, I couldn't afford to as. vese celebrities ! aly talk ! atract a twenty-five dollar story. You come away with a quarter one—or noth- in “once 1 sought out Richard Watson Gilder in order to get from him five or six columns of good stuff on + Young Women in Literature.’ “A fetching sub- ject, eh ? « But, alas, Mr. Gilder wasn’t in a talk- ative mood. “When I suggested this glo- tious topic to him, when I opened fire with the first question, * What is the chief requisite for a young woman enter- ing the literary field ?’ he replied, + Post- age stamps.'"—Buffalo News. If they would SAVING HIMSELF. Jenks—" Why on earth did you laugh soheartily at that ancient jest of Bo- rem’s ?” Wise In selt-defense.” In self-defense ?” Yes ; if | hadn’t laughed so he would have repeated the thing, thinking L hadn't seen the point.” — Catholic Standard. For Dandruff and Baldness. Packers Tar Soap Pure as the Pines An Ideal Shampoo with healing and antiseptic properties. - Soothes the scalp. Strengthens the Hair. Recommended by Physicians. ‘The Packer Mig. Co., New York. | You visit them expecting to| PLACE FOR RED TAPE. There is too much red tape about your business here,” said the shopper, after a long wait for her package and her change. “ But I thought you said you liked red tape in its place 2” replied the manager of the dress-goorls department. "So 1 do.” “Well, if a dry-goods store is not the place for red tape, what is ?"— Yonkers Statesman. - age a bottle. ‘A DRUMMER AMONG LEGISLATORS. A drummer by the name of John Dutton, who was stopping at a hotel in Mont: pelier, Vermont, when the legislature was in session, found his hotel, the Pavilion, was the headquarters of most of the rep- resentatives. When supper was announced the legis- lators rushed in and took their places, and began to call upon each other to pass the fool, saying, * Will the man from Bradtord please pass the rolls ?” or, Will the gentleman from Essex pass the pie 2” or, * Would the man from Portland please pass the butter ?” This did not suit the drummer, who had been unable to get anything, and during a brief interval of quiet he turned to the colored waiter and remarked, | Will the gentleman from Ethiopia please pass the bread ?"—Soston Herald. No family sideboard complete without Ab- bots Angostura Bitters. Wine dealers and druggists GEOGRAPHICAL. “Are you Hungary?" Yes, Siam," “Well, come along: Til Fiji,” x, OVER SEA HABIT. CE ON THIS SIDE THE WATE! The persistent effect upon the heart of caffeine in coffee cannot but result in the gravest conditions in time. Each attack of the drug (and that means each cup of coffee) weakens the organ a little more, and the end is almost a matter of mathematical demonstration, A lady writes from a western state : I am of German descent and it was natural that I should learn at a very early age to drink coff-e. Until | was 23 years old I drank scarcely anything else at my meals. + A few years ago I began to be affected by a steadily increasing nervousness, which eventually developed into a dis- tressing heart trouble that made me very weak and miserable. Then, some three years ago, was added asthma in its worst form. My sufferings from these things con be better imagined than described. “During all this time my husband realized more fully than I did that coffee was injurious to me, and made every effort to make me stop. «Finally it was decided a few months | ago to quit the use of cee absolutely, and to adopt Postum Foud Coffee as our hot table drink. I had but little idea that it would help me, but consented to try it to please my husband. I prepared it very carefully, exactly accord:ng to directions, and was delighted with its de- hicious flavor and refreshing qualities. “Just so soon as the poison from the coffee had time to get out of my system the nutritive properties of the Postum began to build me up, and I am now fully recovered from all’ my nervousness, heart trouble and asthma. I gladly a knowledge that now, for the first time in years, I enjoy perfect health, and that I owe it all. to Pcstum.” Name given by Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. There's areason. Read the little book, “ The Road to Wellville,” in packages. Postum Food Coffee contains no drugs of any description whatsoever. EPITAPH ON BREAD. A boy who had been working in a baker-shop for some time was just about to finish his trade, One night when the boss was gone he broke the marble slab he moulded his loaves on, so he went to the marble-yard to secure another, but could not find one. On the way back he passed a gravevara, and as it was very dark he jumped over and pulled up a small headstone about the right size and took it back and finished his job. The next day, after the bread had been deliv- ered, nearly all of it was sent back. The baker looked at it and broke several loaves open, but found nothing wrong. Then he happened to turn one of the loaves over, and found on the under side of every loaf the inscription, + Here lies the body of Mrs. ——. Born A, D. 1682, died A. D, 1740."—Ram's Horn, WRIST GOT TIRED. Redd— What's the matter with your friend's hand ?” Greene—" Oh, he’s got writer's cramp.” Redd—* What gave him that? Greene— He started in to make a list of the resolutions he had already broken this year."—Exchange. “SHE SITS FOREVER IN THE SUN.” There was sunshine part of each of three hundred and fifty-seven (357) days last year at Colorado Springs; the New York Central Lines ticket you via Chicago, Cincinnati or St. Louis to Colorado, Utah, California and the Do you know why the Evans’ bottle is upside down ? To twpress the fact that there tarno sediment in Beans’ Ale. THE MYSTERIOUS WAYS OF’ MAN. First monkey — “Man is a curious animal.” Second monkey— Yes; 1 observe he beats himself when he is cold, and kicks himself when he is hot.—Vew York Sunt. Nickel:plate oy permans Perfectly sate'to carry without danuerr of leakage. | Fires au” ie i ehcer Lands cartridues reaul ‘dealers, of by mall Pacific Coast. ‘Steares & WILLIAMS SHAVING SOAPS More Than ¥% the Shave depends upon she lather, and the lather depends upon getting Williams’ Shaving Soap. Most used because it has never been equaled in ability to soften the beard, keep a rich, moist, creamy lather, allay irritation, and make shav- ing easy and safe. It’s dangerous economy to experiment on your face with other makes, Shaving Sticks, Shaving Tollet Waters, Talcum nd Jersey Cream Toilet Soap, sold everywhere. Write for “The Shaver's Guide and Correct Dress for all Occasions.” It FREE. THE J. B. WILLIAMS CO. Glastonbury, Conn. Most PERFECT BLOCK SIGNALS ON THE New York CENTRAL. comicbooks.com