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Judge, 1906-02-03 · page 12 of 16

Judge — February 3, 1906 — page 12: what you’re looking at

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Judge — February 3, 1906 — page 12: Judge, 1906-02-03

What you’re looking at

This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* is primarily **advertising and light humor** rather than political commentary. The main content includes: **"Hopeless Case"** — A humorous poem about "Bill Jones," a man immune to pessimism. Despite warnings about financial ruin and legal deficiency, he dismisses concerns with "Oh, pshaw!" The joke satirizes stubborn optimism or willful ignorance in the face of legitimate concerns—likely referencing early 20th-century economic anxiety. **"Wilson - That's All!"** — The large illustration shows a couple, apparently referencing President Wilson, though the specific satire is unclear from visible text. The remaining content is **pure advertising**: Hunter Baltimore Rye whiskey, children's story pictures, investment advice columns, and patent medicines (blood poison cure, kidney remedies). The page reflects *Judge's* format: mixing light social satire with commercial pitches, targeting middle-class readers interested in investments and consumer goods. The humor is gentle rather than biting.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

POLO OS OOS $900 000: RIPENED BY MATURITY, IN ABSOLUTE PURITY HUNTER BALTIMORE RYE OBTAINS ITS SUPERB BOUQUET Seid atalh tratclans cafen and by Jobb Mf LANAHAN & SON, baltimore, Md. 900 0000000000 LET THE CHILDREN TELL THEIR OWN STORIES. Send ten cents for one of our 4 Story Pic- tures,” beautifully printed on heavy coated paper. Each one is a complete story by itself, Pot with no reading matter. ‘The litte ones will spend happy hours weaving their childish fancies into stories about the pictures. These pictures, pasted in an album, with their little stories written out, will make a most beautiful souvenir of a child’s early life. For fifty cents we will send seven cuts, not one of them of a character to be out of place in a child’s hands Address Judge Company, 225 Fourth Avenue, New York. Jasper’s Hints to Money-makers @ Do you ever make investments in Wall Street securities? Do you ever buy of sell stocks or bonds? If 20, do not fail to read " Jasper's Hints to Money-makers'" every week in " Leslie's Weekly," in which questions regarding stocks and bonds are honedily and conservatively answered, and hints given as to the outlook in the @ock market from week to week. This is the moft reliable financial department publish- ed in the United States, and thousands have teftifed in writing that it has either made of saved them money. G Buy a copy of ‘Leslie's Weekly” at your newsdealer’s for ten cents, and see for yourself, or send in a three months? trial subscription to **Leslie’s Weekly”’ for $1.00, which will give you the right to free an- Swers to “any questions regarding “chs and bonds which you may ask. Address Jeg, Coren, 225 Fourth HOPELESS CASE. Bill Jones, he’s a reg'lar freak : Clean through the country you might seek And never find in all your days A fellow with such curious ways. You tell him how this country ’s bound For ruin, ‘cause finance ain't sound, Likewise deficient is the law ; Bill simply laughs an’ says“ Oh, pshaw !” He ain't afeard o' germs an’ things: He says the daily sunshine brings Its remeily for every woe Until it comes your time to go my stars I thank ! How ken you argue with a crank That lets you stan’ WILSIN That's All! An’ simply laugh Cocktail! Remember never at its best with- J out Abbott's Angustura Bitters. BALLOONS. The French schoolboys had recently to pass a government examination at the close of the primary course. ‘The inven- tion of balloons was the subject given. “Balloons were invented,” wrote one boy, “by the brothers Montgolfier, who were paper-makers. They took a large balloon and filled it with paper. They then set light to the paper, and the balioon went up.” Another boy included a treatise on ballast in his essay, with disastrous con- sequences, When the agorostats—such being the name given to men who ride in balloons—wish to come down they fetch some sand and gravel and put it in the balloon. The later is thus rendered heavier and more e'ongated.” A pithy statement made is, * the aéronaut places himself within the bailoon, the basket be- ing used for provisions. "— Exchange. By an original and improved method of cone | structing the frame, the far-famed Sohmer Piano acquires extraordinary strength, and is enabled to sustain the enormous. tensional strain of the strings. VERY FAINT. "| suppose your late uncle didn’t fail to HER LITTLE PROBLEM. HE honeymoon had hardly waned 4 My dearest love," a fund voice cried, The pretty bride began to fret. “Come, tell me why, my sweetheart fair, She sought a quiet. peaceful nook I find you sitting all alone To be alone with her regret. With such a downcast, solemn air?” 4 Ah, Jack,” she said, in trembling voice, «Tm, oh, so wretched and forlorn, I don’t know which of my old beaux T'll marry, dear, when you are gone.” remember you in his will ?” said the sym- pathetic friend. “You could hardly call it a remem- brance,” replied the poor relation. «It was | more like a faint recollection. BLOOD POISON OR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS we have made the cure of Blood Poison a specialty, "Blood Polson Permanently Cured. fou can be treated at home under same guar Capital $420,000," We solicit the most ate cases. I we exiausted the old still have aches and pains, Mucous Patches ‘in Mouth, “Sore ‘Throat, Pimples, Copper-Colored Spots, Ulcers on any part of the’ body, Hair or Byebrows jing out, write for proots of cures. 1co-page Books Free. . ~ COOK REMEDY Co. 1480 MASONIC TEMPLE, Chicago, IIL, U. S. A. A few copies of the first edition of THIS AND THAT ABOUT CARICATURE By Zim, are still available. Upon receipt of $1.50, this clever little book will be sent to any address, postage prepaid. JUDGE COMPANY, New York For KIDNEY ROE TES and SANTAL CAPSULES JUDGE'S QUARTERLY ON ALL NEWS-STANDS, 25 CENTS