Judge — January 27, 1906 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A THANK-YE-MA‘AM. Here Is where I ran over that man with my auto last summer." Mrs. Hicnurre- 1 thought it jolted like a thank-ye-ma’am. Let's see; I paid that fellow $3,000, didn't 1?" Mr. Hicnurre- AN UNRELIABLE MNEMONIC. THE following anecdote is a good illustration of what psychologists call «+ place-memory. Miss Browne is principal in a down-town district, and one of her patrons is Jacob Swerdloff, who has a large family of children. As she was passing Mr. Swerdloff’s second-hand store one day Miss Browne noticed a new member of the family, a little girl of three THE REBEL. SOUTHERN young girl, quite a beaut, At the thought of a Yankee would hoot ; And once nearly froze From her toes to her nose, "Cause she wouldn't wear a Union suit. A WHOLE HALF-DAY. HINCKLEY happened home for luncheon one day and found that a new cook had arrived that morning. ‘The meal was perfect and everything most satisfactory. At night, when he sat down for dinner, another de- licious repast was served. Turning to his wife delighted- ly he said, “1 see we still have the same old cook.” JAMES WASN'T READY. NE morning a father, who was in from the country visiting his son at the univer- sity, was busy shining his shoes in his room, and called to his son, who was dressing in the next, «+ James, are you ready to go up on the campus yet ?” No,” answered back James. “I have to go up street and get my shoes pol- ished before I'll be ready.” HAD TO CRAWL. THE vindictive enemy shook his finger in the rich man’s face. . . “You may be rolling in wealth now,” he hissed, ++ but the time is coming when you will have to crawl—mark ye, crawl!" Two weeks later the words came true. The rich man bought a hill-climbing auto- mobile and had to crawl under it every two or three miles to make repairs. or four, playing near the shop-door. JUST HIS LUCK. “How many women did you try to marry before you got'me?" sho exclaimed in anger. “You were the thirteenth,” he answered sadly ; ‘and | never thought to count them before.”’ She knew it was a Swerdloff, for she recognized the red-print dress and blue bib-apron garb worn by three older feminine Swerd- loffs five out of the seven days of the week. “Good-afternoon, Mr. Swerdloff,"” said Miss Browne. “This is a little girl I have never seen before. What is her name?” + Heere nam ?” stammered the father, with a look of dazed helplessness. ++ Heere nam 2” And again he glanced un- easily about as if searching for a clew to the answer. “Vell, Mees Prowne, I not kno’ all times my shildren’s nams eef you yump me qvick at lik dat, Put eef you vait teel I call heem all unt shtant dame each van mit heem pack pehint heemsel’ put pevor hees peeger van vat coomes pehint heem een peegness put pevor heem een year olt, dane I tells you qvick dees leetle van hees nam, Put ven dey alon’ pe* shtant py damesel’ onlee dane I reemempeer not hees pehint- shtanter unt hees pevor-shtant- er, unt so I reemempeer not hees nam, Put ven dey pe all shtantet in hees line, so "—and Mr. Swerdloff deftly indicated a stair-step series of imaginary heads—«dane I say heem quick ofer—: Yakey, Ikey, Sarah, Re- pecca, Apey,’ unteel I coom to dees van heere, unt dane, | tell hees nam qvick to you as vell."" comicbooks.com