Judge, 1906-01-27 · page 4 of 18
Judge — January 27, 1906 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Judge's Favorites"** features a portrait of Conrad Bazille of Pinhook, a wealthy man afflicted with "bodily infirmities dating backward over a long term of years." The accompanying story describes his comic misadventure when he caught his chin on a clothesline while chasing a cat at night, resulting in injury. This appears to mock either a real local figure or exemplify comic physical misfortune. **Other sections** include humorous anecdotes like "Wanted a Correction" (a widow's comic complaint about her husband's death notice) and "Always the Same" (dialogue mocking predictable masculine behavior). The cartoons satirize domestic life and social awkwardness. Without identified public figures, these pieces represent Judge's general approach: mocking ordinary people's follies, marital discord, and social pretension rather than specific political targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FROM THE MAN AT PINHOOK. CONRAD BAZILLE of Pin- hook suffered very severe injuries yesterday from a pe- culiar accident. Mr. Bazille, though a wealthy man, is deeply afflicted in that he suffers ftom bodily infirmities dating backward over along term of years. One night, eleven years ago, he was running swiftly around the wood-shed back of his house, in pursuit of a cat that had troubled him and his family with nightly serenades, when, in the darkness, he caught his chin over a clothes-Jine strung from the shed to a near-by fence, and w=s lifted/from his feet and dropped prone upon his back. He recovered, but could not walk straight any more, but always veers off to the left, his right leg seeming much stronger than his left one. If left to himself he walks round and round in a circle some twenty feet in circum- ference. He is a very vigorous man, given to taking long, rapid walks for his health, and after his injury the only way he could give himself this pleasure was to have a companion wallewith him on his right side, holding to a strap fastened to a belt about Mr. Bazille’s waist, and pulling as hard to the right as Bazille’s more energetic leg tried to slant him off to the left. This plan worked all right, as he was amply able to hire a good man to go along with him and pull the strap. It is rather laughable to see the couple hurrying along the street, leaning away from each other like a yoke of yawing oxen. Yesterday Mr, Bazille and his strap-man were running down Main Street to catch a train, and just as they came in front of the Burton block the puller fell over a dog and dropped his hold on the strap. Thus released {rom the pull that kept bim straight ahead, Mr. Bazille, running at full speed, / as he had been, veered sharply to the left and, amid a crashing and’ splintering of glass, followed his heavy suit-case right through one of the large plate- glass windows in the front of Merlin’s jewelry-store and wrought a good deal ot havoc inside before Mr. Merlin’ could JUDGE'S FAVORITES. CHERIDAM SIMPSON, PRIMA DONWA OF ** KING DODO," NOW IN VAUDEVILLE. In wintry days a bit of flower Sets us a-dote on spring, And somehow that's the way we feel Whene’er we hear you sing. I WANT to be an angel And-with the angels stand ; But now it isn't possible, For the women are all bann'd. 1 hoped to be hereafter (Whate’er I might be now) A white-and-blue robed harper, With a crown upon my brow. Bot alas! if they're all ++ he” I must hunt another heaven, Where they call the angels ‘she” And a woman's rights are given. JANE FRASER, WANTED A “CO’RECTION.” PORTLY lady, as black as the widow's weeds she wore, ap- peared in the office of the city editor of a Washington paper and said, “'Scuse me, sah; but I called ter ax will yo" be so kind as ter maik a little co’rection in a notice yo" had in de papah “bout mah husban’ wot died on Monday.” “Wha. did you-want corrected 2” “Well, yo’ done said as how he wuz mah fift’ husban’, en dat ain't so. He wuz on'y mah fo'r’, en I's afeerd some folks will pass remahks en say I is in de marryin’ business. Mistah Jackson wuz on'y mah fo't’. Be so kind as ter maik a co’rection, sah.” MAIN QUESTION. Gunner— es; the ancients used to boil people in oil." re! was it Standard ?” ALWAYS THE SAME. ‘Old Schwampe, over there, is the most even-tempered man I ever saw." “Yes: mad all the time.” throw him and hold him. te sunvR Lyee, FINANCIAL FAVORITISMS, SOCIALISTS—Anti-mony. Mohammedans—Allah-mony. Grammarians—Parsi-mony. Hermits—Sancti-mony. Old bachelors—Acri-mony. Old maids—Matri-mony. Musicians—Har-mony. Lawyers—Testi-mony. SPED THE. PARTING. £va—! hear that they eloped at midnight by :asdark moon. Edaa—‘Ves; and her fa- ther detected the elopement and an after them with a whip.” &va—*Gracious! And did he eatch them?" Edna— Oh, he wasn't try- ing to eatch them—he was mere- ly trying to speed the horse.” CRISIS NEAR. Mrs. O'FLANNAGAN (calling to daughter in the parior}—‘* Lulu, are ye ingaged, darlint ?” Luru—“'I shall be ina pa fio mother, dear.” r