Judge, 1906-01-06 · page 5 of 14
Judge — January 6, 1906 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page consists primarily of **editorial correspondence** rather than political cartoons. Editors from various magazines (The Great Weekly Co., Amen's Monthly, Blank's Magazine, Dash's Popular Magazine) reject submitted stories as too long or poorly suited for their publications. The accompanying **small comic illustrations** show characters in Victorian dress experiencing everyday situations—a couple arguing, people in social settings—but these appear to be generic humorous vignettes rather than political satire. The page's satire targets **magazine editors and the submission process itself**: depicting the frustration writers faced with rejection letters citing length, plot issues, or inappropriate content. This represents internal publishing-industry humor for Judge's readers, many of whom were likely writers or publishing professionals.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WOE UNTO THE PEACEMAKER! see your way to revise this story, leaving out the ghost, the clerk and the other unpleasant characters, we should eee be glad to examine it again. Sincerely, — 4 The Great Weekly Co. Mr. N, Hawthorne—Dear sir: In returning to you «The Great Stone Face,” we wish to say that, while it is well written, it is far too long and deficient in plot for our use. We also dislike the allegorical treatment. If you could give us a vivid sketch of the chief character, leaving out the stone face and its legends, in say about two thou- sand words, we could perhaps use it. Sincerely, The Editor of Anon's Monthly. Mr. 0, Goldsmith—Dear sir: We are returning un- der another cover your charmingly -written novelette, “The Vicar of Wakefield"? We hope you will not take it unkindly if we say that the plot is far too gross for pub- lication in our magazine, and that there is altogether too : much preaching scattered here and there throughout the 1. Te stort oxe—" Do yo" know to who yo" am a-talkin’, yo" lop-eared, spider-legged, Whole narrative. Sincerely, The Editor of Dash and Go. lamper-eel ?”” ‘Tue LONG one—'* Yes, Ah does, yo" sawed-off, frog-faced, imitation ob humanity !"* HAD THEY BEEN WRITTEN NOWADAYS. MB: £- 4. POE—Dear sir: Your sketch entitled «+ Pre- mature Burial,” which we are returning herewith, while vividly written, is of a nature far too unpleasant for our readers. If you would employ your skill on some hap- pier theme we should always be pleased to examine your productions. We repeat, however, that we do not care an for anything grewsome, morbid, or weird, no matter how ‘ A lon Uh cleverly written. Thank you for giving us an opportunity . \ iv une to examine this MS. ~~ Sincerely, The Editor of Blank’s Magazine, Mr. E. E, Hale—Dear sir: Your story, The Man Without a Country,” which we are inclosing, while an in- teresting character sketch, is far too long. If you could reduce it to about a thousand words we could perhaps use it. We could not possibly use a story of this length with- outaverstrong plot: Ourreaders dawnoticareforlong: 2. pi ceeAsonis (pasetwakir 0 Paidai (Ne<tnG Galen: getulornans Undo aay, Wat drawn-out character studies, nor for such abstract con- Gnite with you in your opinion of each other, lassure you from the depths of my heart that | have never beheld twg worse counterfeits of humanity. But in spite of your slab- sided lop-earedness, you should not forget that you are gentlemen, nevertheless."* AN EPITAPH, ERE lies William Waterfall, Journalist, lawyer, sage ; He was purposely shot by accident In the fortieth year of his age. This handsome stone, so free from strife, Was erected by his grateful wife. WOULD HELP HIM OUT. Johnnie— Pa, won't you please buy me a microbe to help me with my arithmetic?” Papa— What good will a microbe do you?” Joknnie—« 1 just read in this paper that they multi- ply rapidly.’ 3. CHorus—"' Ob course we Is gentl’men! An’ doan’ yo" dare ter say we ain't, yo" cheap molasses-colored fashion-plate!"* siderations of ethical problems. Thank you, however, for allowing us to examine the story. Yours sincerely, ‘The Editor of Dash's Popular Magazine. Mr. Chas. Dickens—Dear sir: We regret that we cannot make use of your story, ** The Christmas Carol,” which we return to you herewith, It is rather too long even for the elastic limits of a Christmas story ; but our chief objection to it is not its length, but the introduction of a ghost and so many characters from the lower walks of life. It has long been our policy to refuse all stories making use of supernatural characters and events, and our readers prefer to read about people who are rather above them socially. We like very much the introduction ‘of the capitalist Scrooge, but the details of the family life 14; THe LawaseNR" DeU-desl! Dld:yo' eBer’ seen aaoh importance?” ‘of his clerk leave a bad taste in the mouth, If you could The snort oye—‘t Deed Ah didn't!" comicbooks.com