Judge, 1905-12-16 · page 16 of 48
Judge — December 16, 1905 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a collection of short humorous sketches typical of late-19th-century American satirical humor. Key pieces: **"Forgiving"** jokes about women receiving unwanted Christmas gifts from friends—satirizing both obligatory gift-giving and women's social politeness. **"Going Home for Christmas"** contains sentimental poetry about returning home, contrasted with darker humor in "The Gladsome Bells," where a retired businessman admits he actually celebrated fire-bells (from an insurance fraud scheme) burning his unsold Christmas inventory—mocking dishonest business practices. **"Tommy Seeks Enlightenment"** appears to be a child asking whether wooden-legged people invented empty stockings (a crude joke about disability). **"Those Dear Girls"** makes a mean-spirited joke about an older unmarried woman's appearance. **"Hard Times"** shows a beggar claiming to have begged unsuccessfully on Fifth Avenue—satirizing economic hardship during what appears to be a recession. The page reflects Gilded Age class attitudes, business corruption humor, and sometimes cruel social commentary toward women and the poor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FORGIVING. “+ Is she of a forgiving nature?” “Very. She even forgives her friends for the Christmas presents they give her."" GOING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS. THE GLADSOME BELLS. E rattle of the coaches say 64])© YOU enjoy hearing the gladsome Christmas bells * we ask of : home to-day.” our friend who has retired from business pursuits. be as'bli ; “ [did last year, and that’s the truth.” “They had a joyous sound then 2” “I should say they had. They were the fire-bells, and my stock of unsold but heavily-insured Christmas stuff was burned.” “The snowflakes dance and cry «Hurray ! He's going, going home toed The skies are blue, or skies are gray, TOMMY SEEKS ENLIGHTENMENT. And life is work, or life is play ; Tommy Figgjam— Paw ?” Who cares? I'm going home to-day, Keane Ase . Going home for Christmas. Going home for Christma: Paw Figgjam—* Yes, my son.” Tommy Were wooden-legged people the originators My foot beats time, my pulses play of the empty-stocking club 2" + I'm going, going home to-day.” Care turns her back and speeds away, Love smiles upon me light and gay ; I'm going, going home to-day, Going home for Christmas. Oh, fate may bring me bells, or bay, But 1—I'm going to-day. And fortune say me yea, or nay, fame deny me, or delay, But mistletoe and holly say 1» going home tonday, Suing home for Christmas.” EDMUND VANCE COOKE. THE WAY IT STARTS. Gitticus (dining down town to avoid smoking his gift cigars)—“ What was the first thing crooked you ever noticed about Gonrong ?” Witticus—“ His elbow.” THOSE DEAR GIRLS! Grace—" They say that Miss Fortyodde was named after her aunt Georgiana.” Gwendolyn—* She looks as if she was named before her aunt Georgiana.” fe j é y yy, WHEN you st smoking in your room SA PHU ERG ]) And feel so tired and blue, And so awfully, awfully lonesome HARD TIMES. ‘That you don't know what to do, Para Storx—"* Why do you come here begging? Go out and earn your living.” Reach over, gently turn the wick, Tramp Storx—"' Please, sir, | have been all up and down Fifth avenue and never And let your lamp smoke, too. wasay vax pean. got a single order.”* comicbooks.com