Judge — October 21, 1905 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oie 7a a ves. TASS ERED moon am ris En his face am roun’ es a dollah ; En down in de heaht ob de ol” sycamo’ De squirrel am snug in his bollah. But wot am dat soun’ so sof’ en so true De gentle night-breezes am bringin’? It’s de song dat yo'r mammy am En dis is de song she am singin’ : I china eyes, li'l china eyes! right as dimon’s when mah baby cries ; En when he’s laffin’ dey am twice de size. Li'l china eyes! De night-burd am callin’, mah li'l, li'l chap, ‘To her babes in de bramble thicket ; So cum to yo'r nes’ in yo'r ol” mammy’s lap En curl up es snug es a cricket. De cunjey-book say dat de swamp-witches prowl When de night-fogs am ghost-laik en clingi So yo' bettah keep still when yo’ heah dat ol’ owl En heed to yo'r ol’ mammy’s singin’: Li'l china eyes, li'l china eyes! Time ter close yer drowsy lids when de daylight dies ; ‘Time ter open dem ag’in long erbout sunrise. Li'l china eyes! , mah li'l brack crow, Hi low! By low! Sa SSE SAYRE INS Hi low! By low! VICTOR A. HERMANN. THE ULTIMATUM FROM FATHER. Grassyside, October 15. DEAR BOY—Having heard nothing from you since you landed at Bludangoah University, and seeing by the papers that the college openings are attended with extra heavy casualties this year, your mother and I are somewhat anx- ious about you. I read in the papers that you had a rush, and that after it was over the ambulances carried off ten earnest stu dents, while the janitor swept up a bushel of ears and about four pints of country-bred freckles. You are so freckled that mother cried and seemed to think you must have been in the slaughter. I must say I am disappointed if this is the case. A freckle may not be a thing of beauty, but it costs money just the*same. Your father’s good corn- meal and bacon are in that job of kalsomining, my son, and to see four pints of your honest freckles scattered round over a.college campus looks to mother and me like just so many good dollars thrown away. The paper says the rush was a joyous little affair, and that it is feared a number of the participants may survive. I trust this fear may be realized, and yet I must say your mother and I do not feel en- tirely satisfied with the outlook. If college life is going to mash the daylights out of you we feel that the job ought to be thorough and not a half-and-half performance. I sent a whole boy to a seat of learning, and I don’t want a hashed outfit back from the hospital. I read fur- ther that “the rush was fast and furious, and that arterial blood streamed on every side. The noble athletes waded through seas in- carnadine, Ruddy rivulets poured down the club-house steps. Bone crunched bone, sinew strained at sinew, muscles stretched to the snapping-point, and elbow-digs in upturned faces were abundant. Well-directed kicks landed judiciously in stomach-pits. Ham-like fists crashed through cartilage and osseous wall like battering-rams.” Your mother sniffed while she read this. She said it almost made her wish she hadn‘t worn her black bonnet for seven years and put the price of two new bonnets a year away for your education. But you mustn't mind your mother's tears. I read the story with great interest. It made your father's rheumatiz crack. I could almost see my big, freckle-faced boy ramming back and forth in his first college exercise. . Now I saw him get a crack in the pit of the stomach, and next I saw a ham-fist slice off a pint of those freckles. I swow! it almost made your pa young again. Unbeknownst to your mother, I went out in the orchard and got a barrel-stave, and every time, in my d's eye, I saw my boy come to the surface I worked the barrel- stave. It was glorious fun. When I wore out one tree I took another. Now, my boy, if you are in the hospital come right out and say so, and mother and me will come down with a shutter and lug you home. Don't fear the barrel-stave—it can wait. As I said before, I want your education to be finished. I-want the college to send you home cither whole or pulverized. I want you to come back spick and span, marked “unbroken package"; but if they are going to throw you round and crumble you, then I want you shipped in strong bagging and marked plainly, bone-dust, ready for the drill.” No cripples in mine. One thing or the other is the ultimatum from YouR FATHER. AN AUTUMN WIZARD. ING MIDAS is no myth, I hold, But walks the earth, a wizard bold. Last night my maple’s leaves were green ‘As any in yon viny screen ; And now—each one is turned to gold! King Midas is no myth, I hold. mana c. Down, A SENSE OF CAUTION, The citizen—* What would you do if some one were to come and offer you money for influence ?” The politician—1 should repulse him with scorn. Any one awho can't arrange such matters otherwise than by brutal offers of cold cash is not a safe man to do business with. IN BIBLE TIMES. se ANYBODY in fami- ly but you and your husband ?”” “Thave a boy three hundred years old and a girl of two hundred.” aM “I'm. sorry, mad- econ am, but I can’t let the house to anybody having young children.” ‘THEY DATE BACK SOME TIME. Howell— That old man has been in one line of business all his life.” Powell—« What line is that ?” Howell—“He is a promoter of Patti fare- well tours.” Ya POOR MARY! Mary had a little room Wherein she took her bath The shade by chance flew up one day— What hard luck Mary hath! comicbooks.com