Judge — October 21, 1905 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED WEFKLY Ax rue Panxen Doreprvc, Fourrm AVEXUE axp Nixereestm Street. New Yorx. Waster Apvaetisinc O1 1313 Hartford Puilding, Chicago, hi TERMS TO § RIDERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year,orsenumbers= = = One copy, six months, or sé numbers - = se ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To al foreign countries in C, London ; Brentano's, denne de "Opera, Pa Evnoraan sates-acerrs—Jaternational News Company, Bream’s building, Chancery Lane, Including the Cutistatas Jupct . postal union, $550 year. Saurtach's News Exchange, Mains, Germs The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of his conyight will be promotly and bizorousty prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS mast incose a stamoed and self-addressed extetope with all manuscripts, othe/ivise retzm of the latter when found unapailaNe cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contribations sent to the Art Department should have the sender's fall name and address ‘written plainly on each and every separate shetch. The accompanying descrintive letier-press should in ébery instance be wortien upon its indrotdaal pictare, and NOT upon a separate sli of paper.’ Inclosure of stamos to the full amount of postage ts also required. 19 insure safe and prompt retarn of material not THE KING-PLAY OF TAMMANY BOSSES. NEW YORK CITY one evening, lately, two gentlemen gathered to- gether for an hour’s chat, and the next morning every newspaper and the bulk of the citizens took it for granted that the candidates, the policies and the rule for four years to come in the metropolis of the western hemi- sphere had been settled. Reporters thronged about these two gentlemen, and every persuasion was used to get them to divulge in detail their pur- poses for the government of the chief city of the republic; but they only let their will be known in the most general wi This incident should be an in- spiration to the youth of the country. It shows how poor boys here can attain to heights that would make sovereigns of the old world almost dizzy. One of these Tammany conferees, Charlie Murphy, was an obscure saloon-keeper a few years ago. The other, Pat Mc- Carren, was only a poor race-track plunger, but adversity could not halt their vaulting ambition. By strict at- tention to business and other things, they forged to the front, and now they preside over New York’s official hall of fame and divide honors and emolu- ments with whomsoever they will. That the public and the great organs of public opinion consent to this king-play, acknowledge its priority, and look to it for the initiative in every great municipal undertaking, is merely a curious incident and side-light of the ways of a republic. That this little way of the Tammany bosses is at times adopted by other would-be rulers, and even reformers, of Gotham only shows how success breeds imitators. Meanwhile the citizens of the second largest city in the world seem content for the most part to look on as amused spectators at the show in which (to mix the metaphor) they are mainly the stage-hands, supes and the persons who carry the spears. IN THE WISDOM OF HIRING A HALL. N OHIO GENTLEMAN, having become at once the victim of some domestic infelicity and the subject of much annoying village gossip, has publicly announced that he will hire a hall and explain the facts in the case to all who may wish to know them. The wisdom of this plan must appear to every one. But for one lack it would be perfection itself. It takes no account of the other side. The American people are fair. They suspect the too plausible case which is made up out of one-sided evidence. Let this Ohio gentleman hire a hall and appear with his wife et al, and let them present their joint and separate state- ments, and then debate the case until it is thrashed to a finish. Strange that this novel and satisfactory arrangement has not been thought of before. The great, prying, curious public is made a party to every pri- vate misunderstanding nowadays, and more and more the man and woman with woes feel called upon to take the million into their confidence. Once begun, we may look for a great extension of this hall method. Pub- lic men accused will immediately hire a hall. The man with a grievance will hire a hall. The man who wants to be president, or al- derman, or gas-lighter will hire a hall. The woman seeking a divorce will go on the platform with her story. In this way the public will get at the facts at once, instead of having to wait until they are wormed out by shrewd re- porters or corkscrewed forth by the county prosecutor. In this way, too, the modern vice of chinning, of ‘chewing the rag,” of everlastingly jaw- ing about things public and private, will be assisted to a more absurd finish. Jobe or LONDON physician declares a smile is the best aid to health. Now smile. ; ALIMONY for the husband is the decree of a Cincinnati judge. The law always works round toward justice sooner or later. SEs DF: D. K. PEARSONS, when he gives money to colleges now, to avoid the cry of taint, asks the beneficiary to inspect the gift-horse’s teeth. T’S THE protective principle and not the specific rate to which the Republican party is pledged, declares Secretary Shaw. Another keynote struck. STORY in the news: Before marriage he took a thirty-cent ice-cream brick when he went courting. Week after the wedding he gave her fifteen-cent treats. Month later she asked for it and he tossed her a penny for a hoky-poky. Two months later he gave her a brick, and it wasn’t ice-cream. aie ‘THE KINGSHIP OF THE MODERN BABY. A BABY CONGRESS has just been held in Liége which has served to show what a vast amount of serious and kindly attention is given in these days to the infant stage of human life. The solicitude of thinkers seems to have shifted terminals. Once it was the theological hereafter that engaged thought. Now it is the biological heretofore and now that focus the concern of mankind. There may not be so many of us getting born as in other days, but it would seem that a lot of folks are determined that, so far as it is in their power, when we are born we shall be born scientifically, not to say learnedly. The London Express says the Liége congress was composed of ‘* priests, students, old maids, school-mistress- es, vegetarians, lady doctors, emancipated wo- men, and others.” We have been impressed especially with one of the papers read, in which occurs this paragraph : “ The reasoned pedagogy of the undisciplined infant and the esthesometric mensuration of the modern sentient neurotic in- fantile residuum merit the really serious consid- eration of the proletariat. Praise is due to the English system of differential classification as advocated by several leaders of psychological and pedagogic investigation.” We don’t care who gets the praise; we only say that for us this is the final word of baby science. Any baby that can’t survive with influences like that enlisted in its behalf had better not be born in the first place. The quotation is a good sample of the ab- surd lore that gathers round every subject when the people who have nothing to do but think go after it. Nevertheless, in its own way, even such folderol bears witness to the established kingship of the modern baby. DIAMONDS have gone up five per cent., oF to $315,000,000 a ton. Those having diamonds to sell should bear this in mind and not take a cent less, eee EX-GOVERNOR HOGG of Texas thinks the American equivalent of the Japanese term, Elder Statesmen, is ‘‘ Patriotic Ducks.”” Who's he hitting at? Not our senators, surely? LATEST theory of the origin of man comes from the Esquimaux. They say he was made from chewing-gum. Looks reasonable, and explains the universal human tendency to work the jaw overtime. comicbooks.com