Judge — October 14, 1905 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NEARLY CORRECT. Mrs. Lzicuturre Mr. Leicnturre THE WAGES OF VIRTUE; OR, TWO DOLLARS A WEEK AND BOARD. The latest popular-somg hit. CHAMRERMAID was sweeping A room of a hotel. It was a stylish place, and so Tt was fixed up quite swell. She swept the room quite neatly, This girl so sweet and fair, When she did spy upon the floor A pocket-book lying there. [Change to minor.] “Tl pick it up,” she quickly said. “+ And see what is inside.” A million dollars it was, so ‘The owner to find she tried. She found him in the lobby— A man quite old and gray. He offered her a dollar bill, But these words she did say : cHores. «+ Virtue is its own reward I spurn your yellow gold. I'd rather starve than take what T Haye not earned by work so bold. My salary is enough for me— Two dollars a week and board. Remember you had a mothah once— Virtue is its own reward.” The man he was quite embarrassed A blush came to her pretty face— Because she did not take The bell-boys they did cry. The money he had offered her— They loved her dearly. and they did want her to go away She murmured + Yes" unto him. And he said, «* Dearest girl, T loved you from the time I heard You say those noble words : No harm he meant to speak. He tenderly approached her, And these words then he said, “ My dear, | would quite happy be If you me e’er would wed." chorus. + Virtue is its own reward,” etc. FRANKLIN P. ADAMS, “ Sitting up with a sick friend, | suppose?” You're nearly correct, my love—nearly. Setting ‘em up fer six friends.”” TERSE TRUTHS. CRIME is often genius on the wrong track. Chewing cloves causes the ++ breath of suspicion.” Imitation is oftener sheer stupidity than sincerest flattery. No use paddling your own canoe these days of motor-boats. Sometimes ++ conservative ” is the polite term for + cowardly.” aying in the old rut is preferable to falling in the new ditch. We call a person «+tactful ” who practices flattery as a fine art. Love may level all things, but marriage certainly does flatten out the pocket-book, When a woman takes a man « for better or worse” she generally gets the last word— We throw mud at the living and then try to plant flowers in the muck as soon as they are dead. When a man’s dog deserts him that fact alone should be sufficient ground for his wife to procure a divorce. But then there'd be few divorces. rover rum. THE RECOMPENSE. worse.” Visitor (to farmer's boy in the field)—«* Digging potatoes, eh?” Farmer's boy—= Vey Visitor—« And what do you get for digging potatoes ?” Farmer's boy— Nawthin’, But I'd git somethin’ fer not dig- gin’ em.” Visitor —« Indeed ?- What would you get for not digging them ?"* Farmer's boy—* Licked !” QUEER POLITICS. Wyld—+ Some queer things in politics.” | Ryer—« For instance ?” MWyld—« A fellow has to set up the liquids to make himself solid.” SHE'D KEEP IT. UT can you keep house?” he asked, doubtfully; for he was, above all things, a practical man. “If you get a house and put it in my name,” she replied prompt- ly, “I'll keep it all right enough.” Matters being thus satisfactorily settled, their engasement was announced. comicbooks.com