Judge — October 14, 1905 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS CRITTER WASN'T HITCHED. HAD been told, when I left Ford's Mill of the Poor Fork of Cumberland river at half-past eleven, that I could get a very good dinner at the widow Lewis's tavern over on Pink Branch at noon, and I rode along easily, enjoying the mountain views. I should have been there on time, but I missed my way, and’ it was one o'clock when I sighted the inn where I expected a good mountain dinner; and expectation was rosy, for I had breakfasted early and scantily, and had ridden all morning over rough territory. There was ne hotel-sign or other indication that the widow Lewis's was anything more than the usual mountain-house of the better class —hewed logs half way up, topped out with weather- boarding—and I rode up to the gate and gave the customary © Hello!” A tall, sallow woman appeared at the door in response. + Good-day !" I greeted her. «Is this the widow Lewis's tavern?” NOTHING DOING AS HE GOES TO PRESS. Tue_new epiton—"‘I intend to get out the liveliest sheet in the territory. Any news this Mes, i 1g," she-réplied in a:manaer morning?” cating that she was not pleased at being di Native--"" Nary news, Trigger Jim jest plugged a heathen Chinee fer starchin’ his shirt up tured in that way. n I get dinner here?" | asked next, not too fancy, an’ Five-ace Charley happened to get In front of Poker Pete's forty-five when she was explodin’ Jest now; but they won't be no r’al doin’s till the boys from Gun Powder Pouch hits 8 : s town about sundown Saturday an’ meets with the bunch from Devil’s Den.” having been invited to ‘light and come in, + When do you want it?” THE GRAND HOTEL. “ Right away, if I can get it.” HE Grand Hotel in Rowersville was but two stories, frame, “Well, you can't,” she said decisively, G Whereon a sign in straggly style emblazoned forth the name. “When can I get it?” The office was a musty room supplied with lazy chairs 5 faze The clerk would show you to your ruom by saying To-morrer at noon, plumb. stairs. *Good Lord, madam !" I exclaimed, + can't I get anything to eat The dining-room—ah! there was where a hungry man would before that ?” Pies, bread, and chicken and preserves, all of the home. “You kin git supper here at five o'clock,” she said with a defi- cooked kind, niteness that was painful to my feelings. ‘There was no bell upon the desk nor bell-rack on the wall, «But I can’t wait that long," I objected. Beene Kapa yieel Lesptchatey ne boy ey Pall Lee + You don’t have ter, stranger,” she retorted. + Yer critter ain't With honeysuckle blossoms wafting out their rare delights, hitched, is he ?" And all th a-laughing as they blinked above the hill! I was tempted to say something uncomplimentary, perhaps un- Twas something to be stopping at ‘The Grand in Bowersvillet allant, but did not because she disappeared into the house, and I aa : rs P Ane wintest’ When a: eet pad worked aft the trade jo:tomn had no other recourse than to take advantage of the fact that my horse Outside the snow was whirling till the drifts were long and deep, wasn't hitched, But there the coal was chuckling as the flames would curl and Rap, And stories were repeated till the rattle of the "bus Said that the outer world was keen to have a word with us. MISUNDERSTOOD. $+])0 you ever read a paper at your club?” asks the visitor. I wish good luck to Bowersville, but may it have no * boom No. Every time I go to the reading-room I find that the To put mosaic tiling on that little office-room _ papers have been grabbed by the usual bunch of habitués who sit To oust the ruddy chromos from their places on the wall, around that room all the time." Or send a bell-boy rushing through the stillness of the hall. I hope that Time will falter ere he hastens down the hill To force to-day's improvements on The Grand in Bowersville. ww. D. wes, JUDGE'S DICTIONARY. CLUB. 2. [AS clube, a weapon of defense.] 1. A primitive weapon for biffing purposes ; a shillalah ; a policeman’s badge of courage. I was cracked by a club on the coco, I was biffed by a bat on the brain, Fortissimo ma con fueco, O lady—the pain !—Stindurne, Dolores. a = Also it is related that Xantippe, in a fit of great and sudden anger, threw the trunk of a hemlocketree at Socrates. It is no use!" cricil the great ‘teacher, The woman's c/ub is too much for me.” ‘This was deemed good repartee in those days.—P/utarch, Life of Socrates, p. 71. An Indian club, hence Tammany. [Colloq. N. Y.] 3. A band; organization for social pastimes, also for the playing of poker; a number of women who meet to discuss ** The Renascence of Bernard Chauvinism." I'm waiting for Henry— He's gone to the cub. —Shak., A Midsummer-nighit’s Dream, Act II., Aye, there's the club !— Zoid. It's great for the downtrodden hub To hike once a week tu the club, Where Flinch and Old Maid Are the games that are played For the drinks, which is raspberry shrub. '4:sop, The Fable of the Club and the Hub. 4. A ball team, De Gitnts is a swell c/ué.—Three Wise Men of Gotham. 4, (same as club.) 1. To biff forcibly, as of one held up; Laer PERSONAL MATTER WITH HIM. Than never to have c/udsed at all.—Shak., Two Gents o' Chicago. “Grimmer seems violently opposed to clubs. Is it on personal or 2. T reneral grounds ?"" 2. To band together. GenerPersonal, | think. He met his wife at the golf-club, courted her at Notice our great clubbing offer.—Adv"t. acountry club, married her between club meetings, and now all the money Clubbed, . What we'll be if we don’t quit. he pays her for alimony goes to keep up her club dues.”” comicbooks.com