Judge, 1905-09-02 · page 3 of 16
Judge — September 2, 1905 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satirical content: **"Delicacy"** - A farmer-gentleman dialogue mocking class pretension. The farmer dismisses refined sensibilities as impractical, suggesting "that farmin' ain't what ye'd call a delicate recoupation." **"Peek-a-Boo"** - Verse satirizing women's fashion and modesty. It criticizes ladies for covering themselves modestly while wearing increasingly revealing garments, questioning the contradiction between claimed propriety and actual dress. **"Back to Nature"** - A monologue from a wealthy industrialist describing his country estate with artificial amenities (electric lights, heated pools, yachts). The satire mocks the absurdity of recreating urban comforts under the guise of "returning to nature." **"Their Favorites"** - A brief joke about spousal preferences. The overall theme critiques class affectation, fashion hypocrisy, and the wealthy's contradictory relationship with "authenticity."
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
DELICACY. Tue tavy—''Oh, dear! Did I hit you? Where did "— Faxuer—*' We won't mention it, ma’am; ‘twas only a pellet er two. It’s a dern good thing fer me, j-at U2 same, thet farmin’ ain‘t what ye'd call a see-dentary cccipashun.”* PEEK-A-BOO. V LADY is modest—so modest and nice ; Her language is prudent and chaste. Vet she covers her charms with that flimsy device Best known as a peck-a-boo waist. She blushes at mention of marriage and man, And frowns at the ballet’s attire ; But when her few garments we eagerly scan We wonder could Eve have been shyer? My lady will pout at an over-rude look And faint at a word or a wink ; But her garments are held as if crossing a brook, And her hose would drive Comstock to drink. My lady is modest—she says so—and shy, And men are such monsters to stare ; But if men were angels, between you and I, What think you my lady would wear? BACK TO NATURE, 66 VES, sir," said the dried-beef millionaire ; “I have found that what those fellows say about a return to nature is all right. My country place is just making a new man of me. There lam | surrounded by the works of nature on every side, and the effect has been not less than wonderful.” “Where is your country place 2” ++ Out where there used to be that sandy common, I have brought trees from fifty miles away and planted ‘em. I have had an artificial lake made. I have sodded that whole sand-dune. 1 have electric lights or gas-lamps scattered everywhere. I have shut the surf away with a ten-foot breakwater. I've got awnings to keep the sun off you as you loaf there and fancy hedges to break the wind’s force. I've got a tank forty feet square, where the water is heated or cooled to suit the bather’s taste. There are electric fans out on the lawn for hot days, and steam heat can be turned on in all the summer-houses when the days are chilly. There's nothing that the mind of man or the ingenuity of human hands can compass that I've not got there to make life comfort- able. Come out some day and get made over. I tell you, dear boy, you fellows who work the whole year around here in the city don't know what you miss, Come out with me and learn how much communion with old Mother Nature will do to set you up.” THEIR FAVORITES. Sne—"'1 am so fond of trees! The oak is 64 BOB looks happy since he married that rich widow." ibe ee *Yes, She gave him money enough to pay his debts, and Bob bought a yacht with it.” He (promptly)—“ Yew,” comicbooks.com