Judge — August 19, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A WONDER. “ Brown claims to have the most remarkable auto in town.” “Why so? | don't see anything great about it."" “Well, he says he's had ita year, and there are still two of the original parts left."* WANDERING WAVELETS. TRAMP, with hunger long unfed, Went forth one day in search of bread. He fished among the reefs and shoals And found the breakers full of rolls. UP-TO-DATE PLAYWRIGHT. Budding playwright—«1 have just dramatized the + want’ col- umns of last Sunday's newspapers.” Manager—« What ever possessed you to do that?” Budding playwright— When you declined my last play you complained it was lacking in situations.” VERY WISE SLEEPY-HEAD. Father (to sleepy-headed son coming to breakfast on time)—*+ So you got up before breakfast, did you?” Father—« After it?’ Son—+Yes, sir. If 1 hadn't got up after it I wouldn't have EVIDENCE ENOUGH. Juvce—" You say that when you met the defendant on the day of the accident his automobile was disabled. How do you know this?" a Werwess—" Because ten miles an hour ts the law and he wasn't break- ONE THING LOWER. Doctor—+ You have a distinct lowering of the vitality.” Patient—“ Thank goodness that’s one thing that's lower than it used to be, any way!" CAN'T AFFORD IT. Dyer—« Enpec says he can’t afford to keep a typewriter.” Ryer—"1 should say not, if he wishes to keep peace in the family.” A BRIEF STUDY OF SUN-SPOTS. T GREAT expense we are able to present to our readers the first accurate picture of the great sun-spot. This photo was taken by a staff artist on the spot, as it were. You will be sur- prised when we tell you that this spot is 83,000 miles the long way by 42,000 the other. We don't know how deep it is, because we didn’t have an admission-ticket, and we didn't want to crawl under the tent. But we are safe in saying that this is the big- gest spot ever exhibited in this country. This spot is supposed to be a terrific, fiery cyclone on the solar surface, and scientists tell us that this accounts for the recent hot wave. Last winter there was a sun- spot which was said to have caused the cold wave. We give a photo taken at the time. The only difference seems to be that when a sun-spot is causing a hot wave it is in the northwest corner of the sun, When it is causing a cold wave it operates from the southeastern corner. If you want to know why this is so go find out the same way us scientists do. You can’t expect us to tell you everything. We tell you that this enormous caldron of tem- pestuous incandescence on the sun causes our h hot waves, and then we have to stop and go out and shovel our side- walks, or mow our lawns, according to the season. It is interesting to know that ten earths like ours could be dumped into this sun-spot without scraping on the edges. If anybody doubts this let him try it himself and see. The sun has these spot spells every eleven vy snow-storms and years, and this is said to be the year of maximum spot acti a kind of spotted fever, we presume, and the sun comes down with it just about so often and the sun physicians can’t help it. “THERE WAS A MAN,” ETC, HERE was a man in our town, And why that man was there Is because a town without a man Is something very rare. THE INEVITABLE. First neighbor—» Don't say Togo too loud.” Second neighbor—« Why ?” First neighbor —" You'll have all the dogs in the neighbor- hood running to you.” GOOD MONEY, BUT— Mrs, Hoy le— Does your husband make good money ?” Mrs, Doyle—" Ves ; it’s good but. there’s too little THE MORNING TOILET. Mr. Fox—‘* Good-morning, Mr. Rooster. Allow me to offer you the use of my brush.”* Mr. Rooster—"Thank you kindly, sir; but 1 already have a comb of my own.” comicbooks.com