Judge — July 15, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Nean-sionte party—' Eh, what's this? Japanese lantern, left by some Plenicker, no doubt.”* THE LONE FISHERMAN. ETTIN’ in a leaky boat, Jest a-watchin’ line an’ float ; (Gives vigorous punch.) Waitin’ fur a bite, oh, gee! That is fun enough fur me. ‘Settin’ out here on the crick Where the perch is bitin’ slick, ‘An’ the punkin'-seeds—well, say! ‘You can’t coax me off ter-lay. OY pipe 's drawin’ like a flue, weather 's fine, ‘An’ they’s somethin’ on my line. Wouldn't leave ol! Lizzard" now Fur a house an’ farm, I vow! Jest go ‘way an’ let me be— This is goud enough fur me. HER SIMPLICITY. Van Dyne—'1 suppose it was her simplicity that ca Brokelee—" Yes. yor conn, ivated you?" She said her father would settle half a million on her.” NOT FOR SALE, Bess— Now, if her features were only as perfect as her complexion ™. Jess—" Yes, It's too had she can’t buy one where she does the other.” IDEAL WEATHER. ell, Mr. Waterbug, how did you enjoy your vacation ?"" I was gone three weeks, and it rained every day Near-siohteD rarty—"'After all I've read of the war, to think I'd go and butt into anything of a Japanese character!’ RATHER TOGO-ISH. aerzerer! VIELE LITTLE SAMMY BINK, HIS PAP AN NUNKEL, DFE MISTER EDDITUR—i wisht yude rite a neditoryal sayin that yore papur made a mistake wen it sed a bantam hen wot wayed 2 pownds lade a negg wot wayed 3 pownds fer mi pap an Nunkel ned have bin scrappin dred- full about it all day an nite sunday an Ma says thade ot to be ash shamed of theirselves to carry on so on the sabbath day witch it was made fer man an not man fer de Sabbath. pap says no hen never cude do no sutch thing cos its aggin nachur an Nunkel ned he says i dont no bowt that cos I see a farmer up in massy chusetts + put a pig in a pale an put the lid on an then he took the pig owt of the pale an pored bonny clabber into the pale till it was full up an then the pig et up all the bonny clabber an squealed fer more, wen PaP heard that he snorted an grabbed the shugar bole an a salt suller an he says look here ned bink wot yer gettin off enny way? kin yu put this shugar bole into this salt suller an Nunkel ned says dave bink a salt suller aint a hen an PaP he says thur aint no goin agganste fizzukle siance. now fizzukul siance shows that nuththin cant go into nuththin wot ain't haf as bigg as it is an ni say enyboddy wots alwus bleevin evrything they reed in the papurs is sa chuckkle hedded jit. that made PaP madder than ever an ne says ned bink ef it wussent fer yore bein mi bruthther ide curry yu down. an Nunkel ned he says dave bink yu needent bothther abowt mi bein yore bruthther fer i woodent notis yu in na crowd an nafore hede got thru PaP grabbed him bi the hare an says i aint goin to have no man wok over me an no hen wot ever livd diddent never lay an negg biggern wot she is herself enny morn she cude lay a haystack an ni dont want yu to say she did neether. . an Nunkel ned he cot PaP bi the wiskers an ne hollerd into his ere ile say a hen can lay a barn ef i want to an yu wount stop me yu addle pated chump yu an MA she run in owt of the kitchen with the potato masher in her hand an she says ye MR teary _ i cude plaster yu mens branes up agane the side of the wall i cude an now i want yu to cleer out both of yu. then PAP lookt at MA awful scornful an ne says i spose next thing yule be tellin bowt a hen layin a side of beef cos yu red it in a nuspapur an PAP an Nun- kel ned snorted at eech uthther all the rest of the day. now mister edditur wont yu please rite a neditoryal sayin that it wussent a 2 pownd hen after all that lade a 3 pownd egg an mebby the man wot said so just gessed it. yores SAMmy bink. TENNYSON’S LIMITS. ENNYSON had just written «Come into the garden, Maud, for the black bat night has flown.” “+I don't care !” she sobbed. my lovely seeds dug up.” Herein he saw how poetry was incapable of expressing real tragedy. «« The Smiths’ chickens are still in it, and all AGAINST EDUCATION. Jack— Does your father believe in a liberal education 2” ‘Dick—* No; he always kicks when I ask for money.” comicbooks.com