Judge, 1905-07-15 · page 5 of 16
Judge — July 15, 1905 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief comedic sketches typical of early-20th-century American humor magazines: **"Triolet"**: A play on miscommunication—a drug clerk and young woman both blush when she requests a "sponge-bath," he apparently misunderstanding as a sexual proposition. She clarifies she meant a bath-sponge, correcting the awkward misunderstanding. **"Her Family Pride"**: Satirizes class anxiety. A girl named Lulu worries that if her mother dies and goes to heaven, other angels will shame her ("pointing" and excluding her) for having a mother who didn't make it into their exclusive social circle. **"Strike Out for Himself"**: A brief quip about a count abandoning matrimonial agencies to conduct his own business—likely mocking aristocratic pretensions. **"No Easy Matter"**: Humor about a child attempting to walk on bathwater, using Biblical reference (Jesus walking on water) to show childish misunderstanding. **"A Good Provider"**: Dark Irish-immigrant humor. A widow brags her first husband was "thoughtful"—he died in a railroad accident within a week, leaving her with $5,000 in damages (a substantial sum then).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TRIOLET. THE drug-clerk turned red And the pretty girl blushed. “© A sponge-bath,” she said. The drug-clerk tured red. + A bath-sponge instead," She corrected, and flushed : The drug-clerk turned red, And the pretty girl blushed. HER FAMILY PRIDE. ULU had learned her text, “Many are called, but few are chosen.” In pondering over her mother’s explanation of it, she commented as fol- lows: «*Mamma, if I should die would I go to heaven?” “Yes.” “If you should die would you go there ?” “T hope so, dear?” + Oh, mamma, please try! I'd hate awfully to have all the little angels pointing at me and saying, ‘Kee! there’s a little angel whose mamma couldn't get into our set.’” STRIKE OUT FOR HIMSELF, Mack—" Vunderstand the count is going into business for himself." WHERE HE LIVES. Wyld—« Yes; he has de- “And where do you live, my little man?" cided to dispense with matri- Sido of the Byeraes. a JUDGE'S FAVORITES. monial agencies.” Quite eo, And where do the Byers live? JULIA SANDERSON IN" PANTANA."* ‘The wealth that lies NO EASY MATTER. Eire alee Hoard LULU'S mother heard a great splashing in the bath-room, and upon investigation found her little Beside the riches of the smiles daughter standing by the partially-filled tub in a very bedrabbled condition. : That in your eyes Why, you see, mamma,” she explained, “I've been trying to walk on the water, and it is no Age Boren 's job, let me tell you. Your witcheries And charming ways Are no mere stagy part, For in the play or out of it Your natural self ‘s Your art. A GOOD PROVIDER. Mrs. Ketty—" Was yure first husband a good provider, Mrs. Riley?” ; i Mrs. Rier—“There was none betther, Mrs. Kelly—an' he was thot thoughtful. Befoor we'd bin married a week he got kilt on th’ railroad, an’ Ol got foive thousand darlers damages.”* comicbooks.com