Judge — July 15, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AERIAL NAVIGATION COMPANY’S PROSPECTUS FOR SUMMER OF 1905. E TAKE great pleasure in an- nouncing that we have arranged ° for a series of delightful summer tour among the stars. For those whose constitutions have been worn down by the enervating conditions of our present-day world there could be nothing better in the line of recuperation than a two-weeks’ trip to the moon, or a two-months’ junket to Neptune. Our sky grey- hounds are safe, speedy, and the cuisine is unsurpassed. Excellent grill-rooms and concert each evening by the Hungarian orchestras. Compared with our magnificent distances and scenery, the trip to Europe or Niagara falls is little more than a trip to Coney island. Read the fol- lowing list of tours carefully and then let us book you at an early date. Yours truly, The Aérial Navigation Com- pany, Ltd. TRIP A. Personally conducted tour to the moon. Palatial ship Astroid will leave in a fortnight from Observatory hill—magnetic influences permitting. One ticket covers all expenses, including guides and boots for mountain-climbing on Luna. This trip is especially recommended to the busy inhabitants of our world who can only spare two weeks’ vacation. TRIP B. Summer cruise to Mars, Jupiter and Sat- urn, per ship Eros, This is the most en- trancing voyage imaginable. The splendor of Saturn's rings under the searchlight is beyond description. Mars, that weird planet of green- haired people, is ever interesting. Jupiter, the planet of the gods, will be visited at sun- “Weird planet of green-haired people.”* “The grand voyage to Neptune.” set. Bring along your mythology. Stop-overs allowed at Juno, Ceres, Hebe and Iris, Write for rates, including a sulphur-bath on Saturn. TRIP C. “The trip of trips.” Grand voyage to Neptune. Think of it! Far-away Neptune with her cold, silver mysteries of centuries! The shepherds of Palestine gazed on this beautiful planet years B, C., and marveled at its splendor, Thanks to modern genius and enlightenment, it is now a superb summer re- sort, catering only to the élite patronage, and reached only by our palatial ships, the Vulcan and Venus, See papers for day of sailing. THE QUESTION. WHICH shall it be? T looked at John, John looked at me— A question so important that John paused from polishing his hat, While I, who rarely ever weep, felt wretched tremors o'er me creep. And here—right here, pray, let us pause—answered at last the question was. I looked at John, he looked at me. I murmured + Mountains,"" he ruared “Sea !"" ‘LURANA W. SHELDON. OLD MAN RESOURCEFUL. TERMS tuition at the Jayside academy had awakened the latent ambitions of Wilbur Wisherby, who was beginning to chafe under the irksome routine of farm life. «+ Father !” he cried, pausing in the act of rendering perfunctory assistance in the Wisherby cabbage-patch, «not a day passes but I feel the need of a change from the limitations we work under here to one of more extensive scope—to a broader field of labor.” “Wa-al, I guess I kin find it fer ye,” observed his practical old father. ++ We're goin’ ter commence hayin’ in thet twenty- acre lot next week.” NEEDED HELP, Landlord—" We have been forced to raise your rent.” Tenant—“Oh, thanks. I couldn't do it myself.” HE mills of the gods grind slow- ly, but they are noth- ing to the modern jokesmith. HIS WISH. Kip (who has to mind brothers and sisters)—"* | wish | wuz twins, so | cud play ball.” "TWAS EVER THUS. IGHER and higher floated the ark, borne steadily upward by the ever-rising deluge that was fast shutting out all view of terres- trial objects. From his station at the lookout window Noah chanced to discern a flag-staff projecting from the water and marking the loca- tion of what but yesterday had been the weather-bureau of a thriving community. At its top, just as it had been’ left by the iniquitous weather-man before he, with his fellows, had deserted his post in a hopeless flight for safety, flapped a limp and bedraggled ensign. At first the distance and the downpour, which was still coming in tor- rents, rendered close observation impossible ; but as his stanch float swept past, Noah, by dint of much eye-straining, was enabled to make out the prediction held forth by the fluttering signal : “Fair, generally clear; light, variable winds.” wxp narxry. WHICH? “ RS. BOGGS M bought a box of cigars for her hus- band and some one stole them.” “I'm sorry for “Boggs or the thief?” BAILED OUT. Blinks—« 1 hear you were full last night.” Jinks—"Yes; but I got bailed out.” S6LTE swore at lal “Well, he gave me acursory glance.” -comicbooks.com