Judge, 1903-12-26 · page 3 of 17
Judge — December 26, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct sections: a poem titled "The Last Trump," a short story "In the Grocery," and two cartoon illustrations. The top cartoon ("Unnecessary Fear") depicts two men in conversation, with the caption suggesting reassurance about maintaining composure during uncertain times—likely referencing early 20th-century anxieties. The bottom cartoon ("A Higher Charge") shows a shop interior where a proprietor refuses an employee's request to start his own competing business, sarcastically suggesting the employee is "making little money" at his current job. The satire mocks both employer exploitation and employee ambition during an era of limited economic opportunity. The text sections appear to address workplace ethics and relationships, consistent with Judge's typical satirical commentary on American social and commercial life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE LAST TRUMP. WHEN Angel Gabriel bows his horn Our fears may well be founded That all the Irish won't appear Until the whistle’s sounded. IN THE GROCERY. 66 JAMES," said the honest grocer to his indus- trious clerk, «I find that you have taken in a counterfeit dollar and two or three lead quarters this week. You must be more careful. 1 have spoken to you several times about giving better attention to your work. Now, hereafter you must notice the money that is handed to you, and not let these swindlers palm off im- itations on you. While I am on the subject of your inattention —I might say carelessness—but let's call it inattention to duty—1 might as well tell you not to pour any more water into that barrel of pure cider- vinegar. It’s almost. too weak now to avoid com- plaint. Where's that * pure- country-butter’sign? Hunt it up and put it on this tub of butter ‘that just came in from the packing - house, You ought to have done that when the goods came in. And what have you done with the ‘new-laid you'll be all right."* UNNECESSARY FEAR, I'm afraid I'm going blind.”* Tue rRieND—"' Never mind, old man. uta Hut iia Ai A HIGHER CHARGE. So long as you retain your sense of touch eggs’ card? Get it right away and place it on this crate from the storage- house. Oh, yes; and don't forget to push this genuine maple-syrup to the custom- ers. Here's a couple bottles I brought back from home. We can’t eat the stuff, Put the bottles in stock and get rid of them. Now, move a little livelier, James, and look out for bad money, and you'll be all right.” UNDER THE MIS- ‘TLETOE. 66NO, NO!” cried the beauteous damsel, holding her hands to her face and retreating. “Please don't! Now, if you only make yourself think you have kissed me I am sure it will be all the same. You know you believe in mentat science, and "—— “Tell you a better plan than that,” interrupted the young man. “Just you make yourself think I have- n't kissed you after I have. THERE ARE OTHERS. Old Grimm—Re- member, young man, there is always room at the top.” Young Sprawley— “Oh, I know that. I'm waiting for the elevator now.” Tie rarnon—"* Why do you want to pull up and go to the Klondike? You're making a little money here, ain't you?” ‘Tup-vrornietor—'" Yes: but I want to start a shop where | can make more money at one clip.” comicbooks.com