Judge — December 26, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ar Tux Panxxn BcrLpinc, FourTm AVENUE AXD Wastaxn Apvawrisinc Orri PUBLISHED WEEKLY NUTRENTH STHKET, New YORK. $28 Marquette Building, Oricage, Ul. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS: UNITED [STATES AMD CANADA IN ADVANCE. Ove copy, one year, orsenumbers= = ee One copy, six tnonths, of 26 numbers - (One copy, lor thirtren weeks FORE PomOrEAN saLes-aGents— International News Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, E. Tnchoding th rrias Junce. NN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 a yeat. Lando Brentans's, Avenue del" Opera, Paris: Saarbach's News Bechange, Mains, Germany, The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promplly and bigorously prosecuted. CONTRIBUTORS must inclose a stamped and setf-addressed enfoelope with all manuscripts, othefwise return of the latter when found unavailable cannot be guaranteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department shoald have the sender's fall name and address written plainly on each and every separate shetch. The accompanying joke or descriptive letter-press should in ébery instance be wuritien upon its indroidual picture, and NOT upon a senarate slip of paner. Inclosare of stamps to the full amount of postage (8 also reauired, 10 tnsure safe and prompt return of material not accepted. HE MOST VITAL and fit-provoking question of the price of coal con- sists largely if not entirely in the question of having it. ]™ !S RUMORED in scientific circles thata certain inventor is now busily at work putting the finishing touches on the hornless dilemma. VEN that cowless and cocoanutless fluid known as the milk of human Kindness is very apt to be improved by the process of boiling. ALITTLE LESS Jeffersonian simplicity and a little more Jeffersonian Americanism is what the old-fashioned patriot would like to see. HE APPRECIATIVE and discriminating Russian epicure jumps in joy that is simply unique when he observes the Christmasctree bending and swaying with its weight of predigested candles. THERE MAY be pie strikes and rumors of pie strikes, and there may be ribald jests more numerous than the leaves of Vallombrosa hurled against the fair name and fame of pie; but when all is said and done pie will still flourish and endure and defy the teeth of time, Its foes and tra- dycers that seek to Sully its blithe escutcheon and to shatter ied shield shall not prevail, but shall be filled with confusion and despair. Pie, clas- sicised by usage and sanctified by tradition, will live and throb in the great American heart forever and forever. DREAMS are frequently as much to be depended upon as are the events which are said to have a habit of casting their shadows before. Mr. Roosevelt’s Christmas dream is therefore quite a lively one, as it deals with many interesting topics and happenings which the knowing ones fancy they see in the near and not too misty future. The president’s dream is so fantastic and picturesque an outlook of the country’s political pasticcio that, as it moves and twists its ever-changing and sinuous vistas along, it is simply a mixed kaleidoscope of grief and joy, turned for the dreamer by some witching elf of the realm of moonlight. Let us trust that those events set forth in his dream as being of the happy sort may not fail to come true, and that those of the opposite kind may never be realized in the world of fact, but may be regarded as the spooky nightmare examples that stand for a brief period on foundations of lobster and Welsh rarebit, whose seduc- tive charms no intelligent man seems to have the power to withstand. I" IS THE INTENTION of the Tammany tiger to celebrate his deliverance from the cold with a grand Christmas dinner, at which festal gathering, the fusion lamb will shine and scintillate as the devoured. The tiger isJicking his chops and lashing his caudal appendage in anticipation of the coming banquet, and at the same time undergoing a course of train- ing calculated to put him in that rare trim that enables the possessor to appreciate the finest qualities of a tid-bit. It is to be trusted that the fusion lamb may transmit a few of his many virtues to the striped murderer that wins, when he does win, by craft and low cunning, and not by fair and square fighting in the open. If such a transmission of virtues should be a result of the tiger’s Christmas feast it may be thought that the fusion lamb was killed for a purpose, which was not foreseen at the time of the killing. Let us trust that while we are filled with the beautiful spirit of the season a good digestion may wait upon this rapacious and voracious beast, in which the biblical student observes, through the spectacles of fancy, a reincarnation of the monster seen by Saint John at Patmos. NO MERRY CHRISTMAS FOR HIM. Tue reverend Cotpcacrte—‘ What are you in for, me good fellow ?"* Incusator Ixe—" Me twin brudder. See?” comicbooks.com