Judge, 1903-10-03 · page 3 of 16
Judge — October 3, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief humor columns and two illustrations satirizing early 20th-century American social issues. **"On the Menu"** mocks haute cuisine pretension—a chef refuses to cook anything except "a pointer and an actor," suggesting fine dining's absurd snobbery. **"Myopia"** jokes about poor eyesight, with a character noting someone wore glasses after a minor injury. **"Anent the Kicker"** references a "star boarder" at a boarding house—likely satirizing the common arrangement where lodgers became household fixtures. The lower illustration, **"Getting His Money Back,"** depicts a woman at a piano, captioned about expensive singing lessons. It satirizes parents' wasteful spending on their daughters' accomplishments—a recurring middle-class anxiety in this era about conspicuous consumption and questionable educational investments.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ON THE MENU. SOYVHAT have you in the larder?” asked the cannibal king of his chef. “Not so much to-day, your elevatedness,” explained the chef. “Nothing except a printer and an acter.” “Oh, well, fix them up some way.” The chef bowed several times and rubbed his hands together. “What are you waiting for?" asked the cannibal king. * Would your serenely al- titudinous excellency deign to suggest some method of pre- paring the two persons—some new dish, for instance, that would be pleasant to your roy- al palate?" “Don’t go to any bother. Just put the printer in the pi and the actor in the supe.” And the courtjester step- ped up and resigned. MYOPTIC. S6BLINKS ought to wear glasses.” “Tshould think so! Why, yesterday he picked up my new cork pen-handle, cut off the tip, and smoked it for half an hour, and then said I'd given him the worst cigar he'd ever had his life Mazie. ANENT THE KICKER. What a superb kicker that quarter-back is!” Wittie—"* He ought to be. He's the star boarder up at our boarding-house.” INDUSTRIAL NOTE. $+(0-00H 1" shudders the fair young thing who is going through the ironworks. “What makes that awful squeal every time they start the metal through those monster rolls ?” “That,” explains her guide, “is the pig-iron.” HIS INFERENCE. Chollie Up-to-date— Life is worth living down in my office now. I've got one of those visible typewriters.” Wallie'Ketchon —* Ab! The kind that wears those lacy shirt-waists 2” A REMINISCENCE, T IS the tenth year of the world. Colonel Adam Adam, the popular farmer ot the land of Nod, is busy in his field, when a political delega- tion calls on him. By way of opening the conversation, the chairman observes, “We are having an carly fall this year, colonel.” “Not half as early as we had in one,” snorts Colonel Adam, turning his back on the delegation. Realizing that they have fractured the entente cordiale, the visit- ors silently withdraw. GETTING HIS MONEY BACK. “ Are your daughter's singing-lessons worth the price you are paying for them?” “Oh, yes! Why, I've just bought that house next door for three thousand dollars. A month ago the owner wanted ten thousand tor it."* comicbooks.com