Judge — October 3, 1903 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNITED eraTes AND ci: AMADA IN ADVANCE. Que copy, one year, or s2 numbers - $300 One copy, six months, or numbers = = ee gO One copy, for thirteen weeks a 13s Tncloding the Cutisruas Juoce. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries in the postal anion, $5.00 year. EUROPEAN SALus-ACENTS—laternational Newe Company, Bream's building, Chancery Lane, E.C, London ; Brentana's, Avenue del" Opera, Paris : Saarbach's News Exchange, Mains, Germany. | The contents of FUDGE are protected by copyright tn bth the Unted States and Great Britain. Infringement of ts conyright wll be prompt and blgoroasty prosecited, CONTRIBUTORS mast nclose a stamped and self-addressed eclope woth all manascrpts, othewise reter of the latter when foand unapailatle carvet be gearanteed. DRAWINGS and all contributions sent to the Art Department should have the sender's fall name and adthess Yortten plainly on each and every separate sketch. The ing joke or insure safe and prompt return of matertal not Sgt THE PRESENT TIME Uncle Sam is holding what may be called a national county fair. And he is having what may be loosely called an iridescent time, while his spirits bubble over with that boundless hilarity which is born of the fact that the national bin and larder are groaning with a rotundity that is at once large, fat and rosy. Farmer Roosevelt’s exhibits have outclassed all others, and he has a sufficient number of first prizes to richly decorate the four sides of his old red barn. He is a strenuous farmer, and to this fact we attribute the dimensions of his pumpkin of prosperity, which is also an artistic triumph as regards dainty curves and color- scheme. In short, his potatoes of diplomacy and his beets of expansion are beauties to look upon, while his star-eyed, dimpled and polka-dotted pigs, performing the airy sarabands peculiar to victory, are kaleidoscopic joys pure and simple. Uncle Sam is justly proud of this champion disciple of the late H. Quintus Flaccus, esquire, and it is no wonder that our avuncular relative holds his hands up aghast when he looks upon the Democratic exhibits, which, to put it mildly, not to sa‘ charitably, are about as fine an assortment of bat- tered junk as was ever -een outside of a regulation bric-d-brac bazaar. eee [7 1S NOT LIKELY that a palmist will ever be called to read the lines of the pig-iron hand of the Democracy, for the simple reason.that this And itis hand can be read even by people who do not know how to read. every accompany descriptive letter-press should in dbery instance be worttten upon tts indtoidaal picture, and NOT upon a separate stip of paper. Inclosure of stamps to the fall amount of postage (s also required, 10 mighty poor reading at that. Any one that reads between the lines of this hand must have anything but a lovely vision. It must be a vision that is woefully lacking as a conservator of spiritual refreshment. Such a vision is what might be called a burglartoolscape, with a background of moral carnage and corruption, When this hand closes on anything it never relinquishes its hold, unless the thing to which it clings suddenly loses its intrinsic value. Then the hand as suddenly loses its grip and does not offer a reward for the return of the same. It may be said in passing, and withcut any well-grounded fear of contradiction, that in the eagle eye of the student of affairs the lines of the hand of Democracy are practically accom- panied by legends which explain their meaning and reason for existence. The lines that are without significance to the layman are branded in letters of the metal similar to that which constitutes the Democratic face, that the expert may read them as distinctly as shop-signs. He thus discovers such words as “grab,” “graft,” “corruption,” “spoils,” “robbery,” “ bribery,” “fraud,” and “peanut.” These words practically constitute the bright lexicon of the Democracy. It is certainly a limited vocabulary, and yet one that is capable of many verbal twists. When it is remembered that all music is but a series of combinations of eight notes it will readily be seen what sleight-of-Democratic-hand tricks can be executed with these eight words. There is moral contamination in the touch of this rancid flipper. The old reliable Republican hand knows what the Democratic ¢ hand is doing, which means that we should not take seriously the outcry of the pessimists that the peanut party may ever be on top. At the polit- ical top there will never be any room for this howling mob. THE LIMIT. Peteo Punx—" What wuz th’ most wonderful Joe. Jinxum (emphatically) —" Everything | look ye see in New York, Joel?" at, b’gosh|"" shel comicbooks.com