Judge — September 5, 1903 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Look here,” said the little woman as she cleared away the dishes, “I thought you said if I'd give you a meal you'd go to work with a shovel 2” “Well, mum,” chuckled Dusty Dennis, «dat ain't de kind of shovel I use.” “Indeed! What kind do you wish 2” “A snow-shovel."—Chicago News. Sillicus—" After all, poverty has its bright side. Cynicus —“ That's right. The poor man doesn’t have to play golf in summer or go to the opera in winter."—Philadel. phia Record. “Twonder why there are no marriages in heaven,” said the sweet young thing. “Well, heaven's heaven, isn't it?” asked the crusty bachelor.— Detroit Free Press. “So far as I am concerned,” observed Spendahl, “1 don't care whether we have an elastic currency or not; but, by George ! I'd like to have it a little more adhesive !"—Chicago Tribune. Popular Summer Reading Fun tor the [illions JUDGE'S LIBRARY MAGAZINE Ten Cents a Copy SIS HOPKINS’ OWN BOOK Ten Cents a Copy JUDGE'S QUARTERLY ‘Twenty-five Cents a Copy JOEL JARVIS JONES’ JAY JOKES ‘Ten Cents a Copy Any of the above by mail from the publishers on receipt of price Address JUDGE, New York “ Quietly, you know, is the silent part- “At the office or at home ?"—Cincin- nati Commercial Tribune, She—" How does she look in her new bathing-suit 2” He—" Well, there isn't much of her in Yonkers Statesman. Where to Dine In NEW YORK. ‘Places Commended by JupcE Cafe des Beaux Arts (cose sci "aee ciatve eo tearant, Mmlque et Chants des Treuhadoars. fo West 4ath St. Cafe Boulevard fina"Si Avenreas Jack’s “ide: ites Cavanagh's FARCE pot eee and ok, Hotel Hungaria aE Te, ipo Park Ave, Hotel ist sive%0 bpm, Alcea noo Hotel Bartholdl ret ch good serve A good ood, Best in Other Cities. NOTHING LIKE BEING PRACTICAL. First mecuawic (paid by the hour)—" Well, Matie, how do you like these long summer days?" Seconp mecHanic—'| don't mind ‘em as long as we're paid by the hour.”* “HERE'S TO A QUICK RUN.” It’s a wise steward that fills his lockers with a goodly supply of Dewar’s Scotch (Che Woisry ot Distinction’) The number of empty Dewar’s Scotch Whisky bottles washed up ‘on the beaches shuw that the average yachtsman knows a good thing and uses it. A YACHTING a erty Heres 10 9, ane ran (conyrigh 159% an drawing by Carlton T. eS Servo. “Prine in four colors of berg Pest tolany address cn receiot of 40 cents Widens” Sukable foe Spt by case house or home. FREDERICK GLASSUP Sole Agent for John Dewar & Sons, Lid. 126 Bleecker Street, - New York It is hard to describe the xquisite flavor, so mellow delicious, of 3 i Rich and Rare : Hunter Baltimore America’s Best Whiskey Taste is the judge and satisfaction aarriMane is the verdict fold a frvsctase cate an by jobbers. wa LSniaN 2 sone untoce Ra TTT i lr L.. The trouble with people who always say what they think is that they think such disagreeable things."—Philadelphia Record, Church—" They say that it is no use for a person to try and signal a street-car in Newark, New Jersey, with his hands.” Gotham— No ; I suppose the motor- man would think that he was only brush- ing away mosquitoes."— Yonkers States- man, Cupid’s Emissaries HITMAN'S YY¥Chocolates and Confections enane, tae Chocelate HEN F WHITMAN & ‘SON, hestnut Gt., Philadelphia, “T see Si Perkins has got his hayin’ all done.” “Yep. His summer boarders got to braggin’ about how they could handle a scythe, an’ Si got up a contest to decide which was the —New York Journal. MENNEN’S BORATED TALOUM “Til get some of the stuff ifyou can as- sure me from your own experience that it will cure my baldness.” “Well, it won't absolutely cure it, but it will mitigate it greatly.” _ “How mitigate it 2” “It makes you sort o' hope it will cure you, and you always feel better, you mow, when you can hope." Chicago Tribune. comicbooks.com