Judge, 1903-09-05 · page 13 of 16
Judge — September 5, 1903 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, featuring several brief jokes and multiple product advertisements rather than political satire. The visible jokes are mild observational humor: - A complaint about "dialect stories" being hard to follow - A woman's ex-suitor appearing smug upon seeing her married - A fishing joke about trout overpopulation - A joke about inflated population statistics solved by drinking whiskey "straight" The advertisements promote **liquor and beverages** (Deerfield Water, Old Crow Rye whiskey, Schlitz Beer, Angostura Bitters) and **men's accessories** (Keiser Cravats), with marketing claims about purity, health benefits, and quality. The Schlitz Beer ad emphasizes "purity" and careful manufacturing—notable given this appears to be from the **Prohibition era or shortly before**, when beer's legitimacy was being defended through health claims rather than pleasure-focused messaging. This page reflects early 20th-century commercial culture more than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“So you don't like dialect stories ?” “Not much. The trouble with dialect is that after you have managed to spell it out you forget what the story was about.” —Washington Star. Mrs. Shrewsbury— That man who just passed us was Mr. Batcheller. I haven't seen him since we were married. He proposed to me once. You should have seen the look he gave you.” Mfr. Shrewsbury—" That so? Gloated, did he ?"—Philadelphia Press, Health of body and strength of mind are represented in Abbott’s, the Original Angostura | Bitters—the best known tonic for blood and | eB | nerves. All druggists at home or in club, in hotel or on train, is the most delicious and satisfying water possible to obtain. It is healthful and invigorating and when used with wines and liquors it Tends a charm of its own. Try a Deerfield highball; it is so smooth and pleasant that you are sure to “REMEMBER THE TASTE” and ask for another. Sold in all popular tices, will or carbonated, Write for Booklet THE DEERFIELD WATER CO. DEERFIELD, OHIO “Is this a good place for trout ?” in- quired the angler, who had just arrived. “It seems to ‘be,” replied the other, who had been fishing there patiently for hours. They don't appear to be dis- posed toleave it."—Philadelphia Ledger. “Lsee," said the stranger, stirring something in a glass, “that on the| strength of the names in the new city directory you claim a population here over two million three hundred thousand. “I guess that's about right,” observed the man in the battered panama hat, who | was leaning against the bar and smoking a cigar. | «What multiple do you use ?* “Well,” replied the other, throwing away his cigar and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, «I generally take it | straight—if its all the same to you."— Chicago Tribune. 3 VIRTUES LINKED TOGETHER A straight Whiskey is a pure Whiskey A pure Whiskey is a straight Whiskey An honest Whiskey must} be both pure and straight Old Crow Rye is all three in one, is also Hand Made Sour Mash. GOLD MEDAL AWARDED PARIS 1900, HB. Kirk & Co., Sole Bottlers, N. Y.! WOTVD VOT HONEST FLAVOR Hence the ore gold medal winner at the Paris Expo- Some people's only idea of pleasure is to indulge in things they can’t afford.— Philadelphia Record. THE BEER | THAT MADE [MILWAUKEE f FAMOUS. | The yeast in Schlitz Beer never changes Beside purity, there’s nothing more important in beer than the yeast. We experimented for years to get a yeast that was right—a yeast that would give a better flavor than any other beer had. When we got it we saved the mother cells, And all the yeast used in Schlitz beer from that time, and forever, is developed from those original cells, But its best goodness is purity Drinking Schlitz Beer means drinking good health. Not another beverage which you drink is so carefully made. We even filter all the air that touches it, and sterilize every bottle after it is sealed. Yet the price of common beer buys it. Ask for the brewery bottling. “Is Simpson, the tombstone-maker, a good business man ?” “Good! I should say he is. Why, that man’s business foresight is simply wonderful. He has just started a quick- lunch restaurant by way of extending his operations."— Baltimore News. KEISER CRAVATS A Man Can Buy With the Make: Guarant KEISER CRAVATS Early in September the new Fall Patterns of ‘Keiser Cravats will be on sale at a majority of stores that carry reliable .urnish- Fray less than others Are the only cravats guaranty to the A text-book RA PP Pascencta tees tes Bow'tas is fact, ALL ABOUT A. MAN'S CRAVAT. omens nane (de Laxe edition 15 cis.) with this advertisement, to JAMES Business founded over half century ago. f Satisfaction on it Wear longer than others Crease less than others Are the largest selling make of fine cravats in the world ” made that carry a responsible wearer Be sure the cravat you buy bears the Keiser label, which signifies just this—Satisfaction or your money back. HE CRAVAT™ unis of the What, Where, When and How ofa Man's Crarat_its Namen and Various 1d Functions, Its ES Re REISER too east a ie «The confusion of tongues in the tower of Babel must have been dreadfully an- noying.” * Yes, indeed. Think of not being able to make the elevator boy understand what floor you wanted to get off at."—Kansas City Journal. “ Who was it who saw the handwriting on the wall, Freddie ?” asked the Sunday- school teacher. “The landlord, ma‘am,” quickly replied the little boy, who lived in a fla.— Yonkers Statesman. 1824 AD + 22 GOLD MEDALS DR.SIEGERT'S ANGOSTURA BITTERS The Inported trom Trinidad BWI THE ONLY GENUINE Worlds Best Tonic } comicbooks.com