Judge, 1903-07-25 · page 3 of 16
Judge — July 25, 1903 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces: 1. **"Evidence of Identity"** and **"When the Echo Failed"** (left column): Humorous short stories about a hotel telephone operator who must answer vague caller inquiries. The satire mocks both the inefficiency of early telephone systems and callers' unclear communication. 2. **"In the Family"** (top illustration): A satirical dialogue where a maiden is asked about her aristocratic ancestry. She responds that her practical education and "bloom from the drug-store upon her cheeks" define her status—mocking pretensions of inherited nobility and suggesting cosmetics substitute for genuine breeding. 3. **"Not in Danger"** (bottom sketch): A brief domestic humor piece about a father allegedly threatening to "brain" his child, which the characters assume must be a joke—satirizing parental exaggeration. These pieces exemplify Judge's lighthearted social commentary on class, technology, and domesticity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
EVIDENCE OF IDEN- TITY. TIME is money, as some sage Told us in a bygone age; So it should be no surprise That time, e’en as money, flies. WHEN THE ECHO FAILED. [¥ A secluded spot on the mountain-side we come upon a busy individual who is seated on the grass, be- hind some bushes, with a telephone-receiver pressed to his ear, and who from time to time emits a shrill whoop or shouts some dis- connected form ot sentence. “What are you doing ?” we ask. “I'm the echo for the hotel—Hello /—for the hotel across the val—//i-/ee, hi- 4oo !—across the valley,” he explains, keeping the tele- phone-receiver against his ear and speaking brokenly. “Used to be hostler in the stables — Yow, yow /—until the boss found I had a good voice, and so he give me this—Hurrah !—give me this job. Clerk listens out of the— Mow, wow, wow! —out of the window and hears what the folks holler, and then he —Tiddy, oh, Tiddy um !—then he tele- phones the fool things, and Tholler—Yippi! Yi, yi!— then I holler back the last part of them. It ain't a bad job, only—Good old summer time !—only my wile, she works at the hotel, and she—Bamboo tr-e-e-e !—she don't like for me to be away IN THE FAMILY. ‘Sue—"' And are you a descendant of the old family of the van Bibbers ?"* He—"‘No, not exactly; but my brother is."* NOT IN DANGER. Cnoury—"* Hor father actually threatened to brain me.” Erne1—' It doesn't seem possible. He must have been joking.”* day and—Jn our alley- yyy t—day and night, like Iam. Now them fool— Dooley - ooley - ooley - 00 !— them fool singers is begin- nin’ to yelp, and they'll— Promise me-e-e-e !—they'll keep me hustlin’ for a long —Sunday afternoon !—or along time. And then my wife, when she gets through —Hello over there !—when she gets through work, she slips out on the — Alamo girl !—slips out on the lawn and hollers at me like the rest—'Rah for Roosevelt! —like the rest of them, and she says if I talk back— Teddy ?—talk back to her she'll raise Cain with me when I come home—Lura- ley-aley-aley !—and it both- ers mea heap to tell when sheistalking—Hello! You, yow !—because if echo her she'll start trouble, and so you”. But we were going on down the mountain-side, in- tent upon reaching the ho- tel and aiding the other guests in making the echo work, A SOLEMN TRUTH. oe sc PHERE: is a divinity that shapes our ends," quoted the maiden with the classical education and the bloom of youth upon her cheeks. “Yes; and there's a divinity that ends our shapes,” replied the maiden with the practical education and the bloom from the drug-store upon her cheeks. comicbooks.com