Judge, 1903-05-30 · page 6 of 18
Judge — May 30, 1903 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four early-automobile-era jokes satirizing emerging car culture (circa 1900s-1910s): **"Cruel Man"**: A husband tricks his wife into thinking they're taking an automobile ride ("horseless trip"), then surprises her by taking a walk instead—mocking husbands who promise modern conveniences then disappoint. **"Modern Veterinary Surgeon"**: A man calls a veterinarian for his injured automobile, not horse. The vet claims he can handle it after taking a post-graduate course in "automobile-repairing." The joke: vets are so unfamiliar with cars that they confuse their professional expertise. **"What He Wanted"**: A car dealer complains a customer hasn't paid his bill; the customer wants something connected to his automobile that actually works for more than half an hour—mocking early automobiles' notorious unreliability. **"Advanced Nursery"**: A child receives a toy automobile and runs over his siblings' dolls with it, mimicking dangerous driving—satirizing how automobiles were genuinely hazardous novelties that inspired reckless behavior. All four jokes reflect society's anxious fascination with this new, unpredictable technology.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CRUEL MAN. Y DEAR," tele- phones the brutal husband, « would- n't you like to take a horseless trip with me this aft- ernoon ?” “Oh, that will be lovely!” an- swers the trusting wife. “All right. Til be home in a few minutes.” She is waiting at the door for him when he ar- tives, To hersur- prise he comes around the corner eee) on foot. Why, where's the auto?” she asks. “The auto 2” “Yes, Didn't you say we'd take a horseless trip ?” “1 did, my dear; and now we will go out for a walk.” “Look here! stopping."” THE MODERN VETERINARY SURGEON. ‘THE absent-minded man who had telephoned to the veterinarian to come with all possible haste greeted the latter apologetically when he appeared breathless before him. “1 am very sorry to have called you out, sir,” he said with real repentance ; * but I was so flustered at the time of the accident that I forgot for the moment that my automobile and not my horse was in- jured.” “Oh, that is all right !* exclaimed the veterinarian in the exuber- ance of youth, “Iam able to handle the case. After I was graduated from the medical college | took a post-graduate course in automobile- repairing.” ‘Tue xector—"' But can't Mrs, Postrsep>—" Well, no; not since they AZ a WHAT HE WANTED. ‘This bill for that automobile I sold you has been running for over a year now.”* ‘Let her run. 1 want to have something connected with my automobile that will run for over a half-hour without IN THE ADVANCED NURSERY. SO\/HY,” says the visitor to the nursery of the Muchstuffs, “all the children’s dollies seem to be torn and battered and mangled until they are total wrecks,” ‘es'm,” answers the maid. “ You see, mum, it's little Algernon, mum. His father give him a auto-hobby-mobile on his birthday, an’ he makes the other children set the dolls in line while he runs over them.” FOR A RAINY DAY. SOYES, Mr. Fidgette is a stickler for harmony,” observes the friend. have noticed thct he has some peculiarities,” commented the acquaintance. : “should say he has. Why, when it rains he puts on his storm- shoes and a rubber coat and duck trousers.” Wl ng Vy you love your neighbor as yourself, Mrs. Poseybedd?”” ng comicbooks.com