Judge, 1903-05-30 · page 7 of 18
Judge — May 30, 1903 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early automobiles and their cultural impact around the 1900s-1910s. Key sections: **"An Absolute Ruler"** and **"A Fierce Charge"** mock the newfound authority of traffic police and exaggerate the importance of early auto repair contractors during wartime. **"No Enthusiast"** plays on Irish-American dialect humor, with "Pat" claiming limited patriotism—humorously distinguishing himself from English diplomats rather than expressing genuine national pride. **"Realistic"** jokes that realistic theater becomes unrealistic when an automobile accident inevitably occurs—the heroine should exit by ambulance, not happy ending. **"The Horseless Stage"** features Kit Marlowe's famous Shakespeare line ("A horse! A horse!") reimagined when Mother Shipton (a legendary English prophetess) ironically predicts the "horseless stage," suggesting automobiles will replace traditional horse-drawn transportation. The six comic strips below ("The Runaway Auto") depict chaotic automotive mishaps. Overall, the page captures period anxieties and humor about automobiles disrupting established society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN ABSOLUTE RULER. GEE the policeman, where he stands, Impressive, proud and fat He checks the automobilists And lays the law down flat. They mind his stern, uplifted club, For he’s an auto-crat. A FIERCE CHARGE. S4GEE that fellow across the street?” asks the guide. “Who — that little fellow with the stooped shoulders and the squint?” ‘es. He made the great auto charge during our late war, after the army had been equipped with the horseless carriages.” “ Well, he doesn’t look anything like a hero to me.” “Oh, he’s not a hero. He doesn't even pretend to be.” “But I should think that a man who had faced the bullets of the enemy and braved death on the bloody field "—— “Back up! That fel- low never saw a battle field.” “He didn't?) Then how could me make an auto charge, as you say he did ?” “He had the contract for repairing the govern- ment’s automobiles.” — NO ENTHUSIAST. Mixe—"' An’ do yez love this counthry, Pat?” Pat—'* Well, not enough to be mishtaken fer an English diplomat, begobs!"* Y Uy! Wh cape Z y REALISTIC. SeTHIS," said the dramatist, who was elaborating the scenario of his new play to the manager, “is to be a realistic society drama. The heroine makes a thrilling entrance in an auto.” “ What does she do then ?” asked the manager. “Why, of course she meets the hero and the villain and the soubrette and the rest, and the play ‘goes on to the usual happy ending.” “Well, you start realistically enough, but you weaken on your finish.” “How's that?” asked the puzzled playwright. “If she’s going to come in on an auto she and a few of the rest ought to make their exit in an ambulance.” ‘THE HORSELESS STAGE. 66 A HORSE!" shouts Kit Marlowe, who has consented to enact Richard III. ata benefit performance for William Shakespeare. “A horse, a horse! Meh kingdom for a horse!" Here old Mother Ship- ton, who occupies one of the boxes, leans over the railing and calls, “Did I not some time agone predict that ere long we should see the horseless stage of the world ?” THE RUNAWAY AUTO. comicbooks.com