Judge, 1903-05-30 · page 4 of 18
Judge — May 30, 1903 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes early automobiles and their impact on society circa 1900-1910. The sketches mock motorists and their newfound obsession with cars: **"A New Perfume"** depicts a chauffeur selling "Auto of Roses"—a perfume marketed as essence of roses mixed with gasoline, targeting motorists. The joke: cars smell terrible. **"Judge's Favorites"** features Eleanor Robson, likely a contemporary actress, praising wealthy automobilists. **"A Veterinary Surgeon Needed"** ridicules an amateur driver causing chaos in town, requiring a veterinarian rather than a mechanic. **"The Deadly Automobile in the Wild West"** and **"A Hayseed's Opinion"** present rural perspectives, suggesting automobiles are dangerous, violent intrusions into traditional America—portrayed as wild beasts rather than progress. The satire reflects urban/rural tensions over modernization.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A NEW PERFUME. THE druggist smiles at the chauffeur who enters, Without a word he goes to his perfume case, takes from it a small phial of extract, receives a dollar from the automobilist, and bows him politely out. “I'm selling lots of that odor,” he says. “What is it?” asks the man leaning against the cigar-case. “ Auto of roses.” “ Auto? You mean attar.” “No; I mean auto. It is essence of roses, with a dash of gasoline. It is manufactured espe- cially for motorists.” HINT FOR THE HOUSEWIFE. MAKE an automo- bile salad: Take a pneumatic tire, squeeze JUDGE'S FAVORITES. out the wind, wipe dry, ELEANOR ROBSON. run it through the meat- You own fame's airy fairy gold, which, with the gold chopper, mix with crush- ou make, reat ‘We trust. may ever with you dwell and never, winglets. C4: S10Ne. cover. with a take: dressing of gasoline, IN-MOOSE MEADOW. But may you ne'er corral enough to leave the stagelet sand and train-oil, and “So Sue Perkins hez accepted that feller from Podunk?” where + ean as “Yes: but I don't b'leeve she knows much about him. She only You frisk and frolic while you kick the daylights out S@mish with accident- met him day before yesterday.” f care. licies. “Oh, well, that’s long enough fer Sue Perkins to find out all about bad Pe him an’ everybody else in Podunk." A VETERINARY SURGEON NEEDED. HE amateur automobilist tries to go through a ten-mile- ordinance town at the rate of forty miles an hour. At the intersection of the main streets he whirls into a collection of cables, chains, fence-posts, and other barriers. He is dug out of the wreck and carried into the first doctor's office his rescuers see. “I can't do anything for this man,” says the doctor. «I'm a veterinary surgeon.” “You're the right man, doc.” moans the amateur auto- “Twas a jackass to think I could run that ma- ‘THE DEADLY AUTOMOBILE IN THE WILD WEST. Tourist—* | suppose Brimstone Ike has killed his man.” ‘THE LATEST. Ha ; pa rae say, old chap, what's that queer thing on your automobile?” Native (witheringly )—* His. man 2) Why, The has got ‘Why; that's an Idea of mine to utilize the gasoline odor. It throws It far to the five nicks in the steerin'-handle of his automobile already.” front and does away with the bell and horn. Much more effective, too."" A HAYSEED'S OPINION. “ How far is it to the next town, uncle ?"* Uncts Ruse—'*It's about two sights and a right smart way by foot; but I reckon it ain't so fur with thet there machine.” comicbooks.com